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Weird Bizarre Oddball Jokes

Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2025-08-27.




- Open up, it’s the police! - Prove it! - How? - Sing Roxanne.
- Open up, it’s the police! - Prove it! - How? - Sing “Roxanne.”

What do you call a lumberjack with a website? A b-logger.
What do you call a lumberjack with a website? A b-logger.

Me: If at first you don't succeed, try again. Cop: That is not how field sobriety tests work sir.
Me: If at first you don't succeed, try again. Cop: That is not how field sobriety tests work sir.


Thing I hated as a child: Getting spanked and naps. Thing I love as an adult: Getting spanked and naps.
Thing I hated as a child: Getting spanked and naps. Thing I love as an adult: Getting spanked and naps.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. But other times I let her sleep in.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy. But other times I let her sleep in.


I won a contest at the state fair for growing the biggest pickle. Some might say it was a pretty big dill.
I won a contest at the state fair for growing the biggest pickle. Some might say it was a pretty big dill.

I got 99 problems, and basically all of them could be solved by a salary increase.
I got 99 problems, and basically all of them could be solved by a salary increase.

Health tip: Don't take health advice from people who think the world is overpopulated.
Health tip: Don't take health advice from people who think the world is overpopulated.

I once asked a taxidermist what he does for a living. He said: Oh, you know.....stuff.
I once asked a taxidermist what he does for a living. He said: Oh, you know.....stuff.

The Flat Earth Society just announced they now have one million members...around the globe.
The Flat Earth Society just announced they now have one million members...around the globe.




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