Where logic takes a vacation and absurdity reigns supreme.
"Normality is a paved road: It's comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it."
- Vincent van Gogh
Get Your Giggle on the Weird Side.
To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night:
I'm not letting you out.
Did you know that too much sex can cause memory loss?
I read that in a medical journal on page 64, at 2:34pm on Friday 15th of August, 2021.
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they are not actually interested in your opinion.
I know that now.
"Normal = neutral expression concealing existential despair and brain-crushing boredom."
-SecUnit, Network Effect
The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.
Embark on a journey where the normal is abnormal.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
What does a robot do after sex?
He nuts and bolts.
My jokes are like semen.
Sometimes they land and stick.
Other times they are hard to swallow.
Today's weird fact:
a snowman's kids are called chill-dren.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Cat: Meow.
Doctor: Ok but where?
Weirdly Funny, Funnily Weird.
My sexual preference is.....often.
Do nudists solve problems?
No they "nut" things out, get to the " bottom" of it and "figure" it out.
Just finished a course on positive thinking.
It was rubbish.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
Sorry it's gonna take me some time to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.
I JUST ORDERED A LIFE ALERT BRACELET SO IF I EVER GET A LIFE I WILL BE NOTIFIED IMMEDIATELY.
Where Normal Jokes Don't Apply!
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
Rearrange these letters to form words.
1. PNEIS
2. BUTTSXE
Did you get Spine and Subtext?
Me neither.
Watching Porn.
I hope they stay together.
So after winning the game, I decided to throw the ball into the crowd, like they do on T.V.
Apparently, it's unacceptable in bowling.
I told my wife, “Did you know Old MacDonald’s farm has been taken over by ChatGPT?”
Her: AI?
Me: AI.
Her: Oh.
Get Weird, Get Hilarious, Get Your Laughs Here!
Just looked up an old girlfriend from school.
Being a gynaecologist is a bit weird.
Me: this is romantic isn’t it? Just the two of us.
Cellmate: I mean I guess.
I asked him to show me...
"What those fingers do?"
He's currently making shadow puppets while I hold the flashlight....
I've developed a rash on my upper leg , and everytime I scratch it, I hear music.
Doctor says it's spotty thigh.
We were taught to fear the witches instead of the ones who burned them, and I think that's the problem.