Jokes and Puns Search Engine.

People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous.

"It's the thought that counts" doesn't include showering.
You have to actually do that.

them: turn that frown upside down

me: uʍoɹɟ

....dropped Viagra on my wrist watch & now I’m having a hard time.

Is it weird to get naked during a massage?
At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?

I took a urine test at the hospital yesterday.
My kleptomania is out of control.

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Me: I think you may have an unhealthy attachment.

Girlfriend, trying to breastfeed our dog: Why?

Gender reveals are pointless now days.
“OMG ITS A BOY"
12 years later James is now Jessica with a penis.

Lots of people want chicken fingers.
But a very few wants to finger chickens.

The cross-eyed circumciser was so bad, he got the sack.

You’ve heard of a 69, but have you heard of a 71?
It’s like a 69 , but with two watching.

The pregnant woman who couldn't sing wasn't using her diaphragm properly.

At a certain age "Being good in bed" simply means not snoring...

Just got an email from a necrophiliac wishing me dead.
Hey, thanks for the compliment!

What’s the difference between necrofilia and choking fetish?

15 seconds.

Every time I see a set of twins, I always ask them: Which one of you is the unplanned one?

What’s the policy for the buffet at the orgy?
First Come First Serve.

I have a foot fetish...
I have tried using meters but it just doesn't work for me.