Hilarious jokes about Internet that will make your day !

An Internet Explorer user was recently mugged by a snail, a turtle, and a sloth.
When reporters asked him if he could describe the muggers, he responded, "Not very well. It all happened so fast."

The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

The sentence 'Don't believe everything you read on the Internet' is the same backwards.

Nobody does the edgy sex goddess act better than bored housewives on the internet.

Remember, if it's connected to the internet it can be used to spy on you.

I don't need a stable relationship, I need a stable internet connection.

If you don’t know where your kids are in the house, turn off the internet and watch them magically appear.

The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.

Aliens are probably monitoring our media.
98% of the internet is porn. Maybe they're not giving us anal probes. They're just trying to speak our language.

If the internet isn't a drug, why do they call us all users?

Q. What do you call it when there’s no Internet in Russia?
A. Internet.

A salesman knocked on my door earlier. "Who currently provides your Internet?" he asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."

Opinions are like assholes. Everyone on the internet has seen yours and been disgusted.

If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it? In Google Docs.

There are so many scams on the Internet now...Send me $9.99 and I'll tell you how to avoid them!

Nobody does the edgy sex goddess act better than bored housewives on the internet.

The internet is great because it gives everyone a voice. It also sucks because it gives everyone a voice.

—¿Por qué no duermes, qué tienes?
—Internet.

How do trees get on the internet? They log in!

Whenever my kids questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind them that I'm older than the Internet.

'Good morning Sir, may I ask who your current Internet provider is?'
Me: 'Some guy next door'.

What does my face and the internet have in common?
I browse.

Opinions are like buttholes
Everyone has one and I like sharing mine with strangers on the internet.

Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.

An Internet Explorer user was recently mugged by a snail, a turtle, and a sloth.
When reporters asked him if he could describe the muggers, he responded, "Not very well. It all happened so fast."

The best thing about the internet is that you can claim credit for things you had no part in.
It’s one of the reasons I invented it.

Why do babies want to use the internet?
So they can Google Gaga!!

Masturbation is so much easier for kids these days.. I remember having to wait for the Littlewoods catalogue, sneakily smuggle it into the bathroom and find the lingerie section.

Nowadays, the internet makes it so much easier!

I just open up my browser and go to www.littlewoods.com

I'm "used to get kicked off the internet when the house phone rang" years old.

Don't date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.

In these days of internet if you want to keep a woman happy, you'd better tweet her right.

The Israelis i'm sure were the first to have Yahoo on the internet, they've had Net and Yahoo for years.

The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

An old pre-internet ad by Atlas maps.
Buy Atlas maps or get lost.

What's an Internet troll's favourite snack?
4chan cookies.

Windows: "the device wasn't able to connect to internet due to connection error"
Also windows:" would you like to go online to search for a solution".

The millionaire is a very smart guy. He sees the blonde & decides to play a game with her for a quick laugh. He goes up to her, and says:

"Hey let's play a game. I'll ask you a question. If you can't guess it, you give me $5. Then you ask me one, if I can't guess it, I'll give you $10,000". The blonde agrees.

So the millionaire begins, and asks "who was the first president of the United States?". The blonde thinks about it and in the end can't figure it out. So she gives him $5.

The millionaire chuckles. "Okay, your turn" the millionaire says confidently.
"Okay" the blonde says. "What goes up the hill with 3 legs and comes back down with 4?".

The millionaire looks at her & is very confused, and can't figure it out. He starts calling his friends and his family, and goes on the internet trying to desperately get the answer, but to no results.

"Okay, you win" he says, as he gives her $10,000.

"Yes, thank you!" She says.
As she begins to walk away, the millionaire looks at her confused and stops her.

"Hey!" He says.
"Sooo then... what goes up the hill with 3 legs and comes back down with 4?"

"Oh, I don't know" the blonde says. And she gives him $5 and walks away.

My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl.

Remember, before internet, how everybody thought the cause of dumbness was limited access to information?“

What’s something you couldn’t find on the Internet ?

Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log in.

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

My mind is like my internet browser.
At least 19 open tabs..3 are frozen & I have no idea where the music is coming from.

The sentence 'Don't believe everything you read on the Internet' is the same backwards.

Son: "I wonder what is at the end of the internet."

Dad: (talking behind his newspaper)"..The letter "t"..."
😎

Internet dating,
❤
the odds are good,
but the goods are odd.