Random E-Mail joke:
She blocked me on all her socials.
She must want me to email her.
Selected E-Mail jokes:
Did you know you're allowed to send emails to people in prison ?
You're just not allowed to attach a file.
Just emailed my application into the Local Lonely Hearts Club with a recent photo and they've returned it all saying .........
' We're not that fuckin lonely ' !!!!
I applied for a job in a butcher’s shop over a month ago now but I still haven’t heard from them. No phone call, no text, no email.
Not a sausage.
Boss: Did you get my email?
Me: Yes. It had italics, all-caps, and highlighting and I had no idea how to prioritize that information.
More E-Mail jokes...
Sometimes I look at emails I’ve written and I can’t believe I’am pretending to be this professional.
I emailed myself a copy of the constitution and bill of rights so the US Government could read it.
I never delete work emails just incase people start acting up...
"I'm sorry Susan, that's not what you were saying on January 2nd 2019 at 10:48am".
She blocked me on all her socials.
She must want me to email her.
Just got an email from a necrophiliac wishing me dead.
Hey, thanks for the compliment!
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!"
I've sent her my washing, that should keep her busy.
I got an email today asking $19.95 to teach me how to read maps backwards. It turned out to be spam.
If you get an email with the subject
Knock Knock.
Don't open it.
It's Jehovahs witnesses working from home.
A Meditation student asked his teacher, "Am I allowed to send you email?"
"Yes," replied the teacher, "But no attachments please."
Boss: Did you get my email?
Me: Yes. It had italics, all-caps, and highlighting and I had no idea how to prioritize that information.
Just got an email saying I can win $10,000 in a fishing tournament.
I know that has to be a catch somewhere.
Did you know you're allowed to send emails to people in prison ?
You're just not allowed to attach a file.
I applied for a job in a butcher’s shop over a month ago now but I still haven’t heard from them. No phone call, no text, no email.
Not a sausage.
I would have e-mailed you sooner, but my cat ate my mouse.
My email wasn't working this morning so I asked my magic 8 ball why...
It said "outlook not so good."
My inbox is full of penis enlargement emails. I've asked my wife to stop sending them.
It's never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
Wow! So crazy that you didn't get my email. So weird. Let me send it again.
*Me sending the email for the first time*
I'm starting a one-man band. Email me if you're interested.
Scam email warning:
If you receive an email saying you have won tickets to watch Arsenal don't open it, it contains tickets to watch Arsenal.
Sometimes I like to live dangerously and respond to new emails immediately.
I asked my Spanish friend to include me in his email, he said C C.
“Wouldn't it be cool if Benjamin Netanyahu's email address
was BenjaminNET@yahoo?“
Just emailed my application into the Local Lonely Hearts Club with a recent photo and they've returned it all saying .........
' We're not that fuckin lonely ' !!!!
Why can't you e-mail a photo to a Jedi?
Because attachments are forbidden.
You are allowed to send e-mails to people in prison...
as long as you don't attach a file.
My email password got hacked again...
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat!
My email password got hacked again.
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 33, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
Warning. if you get an email from someone called Ding Dong
Don't open it.
It's Jehovah's Witnesses working from home.
A mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase..
"What happened?", she asks anxiously.
"What happened! I'll tell you what happened..
... I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip.. I get home.. and.. guess what I found..
Yes, your daughter, my wife.. with a guy in our marital bed..
This is unforgivable.. the end of our marriage..
I'm done.. I'm leaving forever.."
"Calm down.. calm down.. my son"..
says.. his mother-in-law..
"There is something very odd going on here..
My daughter would never do such a thing..
There must be a simple explanation..
I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.."
Moments later.. the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile..
"I told you there must be a simple explanation..
She didn't get the email"