Plants Jokes: The Funniest Collection of Botanical Humor.

What veggies do sailors hate most?
Leeks!

Went to the shop today to buy some lemons and apples, but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip.

Another wooden ball!!! Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?? I have like 12 already.

If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathize with it?
No, they say "i chlorofeel you man."

If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathize with it?
No, they say "i chlorofeel you man."

What do dry gin and pollinating plants have in common?
They're both Bee-Feeders.

Plant scientists have used genetic engineering to create a new variety of orange.
The novel navel.

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?
The family tree.

What'd one marijuana plant say to the other marijuana plant?
Let's be best buds.

What happened to the two apple trees that were planted together?
They lived appley ever after.

My gardener is entering his Bonsai plants in a contest this weekend.
I’m rooting for him.

What type of plants do skateboarders grow?
Faceplants.

What kind of plant do ghosts like to hide behind?
BamBOO!

I wanna tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants.
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

You can’t plant flowers...
...if you haven’t botany.

What does a plant do when someone close to his friend dies?
He photo-sympathizes.