Plants Jokes: The Funniest Collection of Botanical Humor.

Does every sentence need to include a vegetable?
Not necescelery!

I have a fear of roses. It's a thorny issue. I'm not sure what it stems from, but it seems likely I'll be stuck with it.

How can you tell an unidentified plant in your garden is a weed?
Try to pull it out. If it comes out easily, it's not a weed.

I wanna tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants.
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathize with it?
No, they say "i chlorofeel you man."

What do dry gin and pollinating plants have in common?
They're both Bee-Feeders.

Plant scientists have used genetic engineering to create a new variety of orange.
The novel navel.

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?
The family tree.

What'd one marijuana plant say to the other marijuana plant?
Let's be best buds.

What happened to the two apple trees that were planted together?
They lived appley ever after.

My gardener is entering his Bonsai plants in a contest this weekend.
I’m rooting for him.

What type of plants do skateboarders grow?
Faceplants.

What kind of plant do ghosts like to hide behind?
BamBOO!

I wanna tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants.
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

You can’t plant flowers...
...if you haven’t botany.

What does a plant do when someone close to his friend dies?
He photo-sympathizes.