Random plant joke:
Doctor: you need a transplant.
Me: I didn’t know plants identified that way.
Doctor: you know what? You can just die.
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2025-07-07.
Selected plant jokes:
What kind of plant contains every known element?
A chemis-tree.
How can you tell an unidentified plant in your garden is a weed?
Try to pull it out. If it comes out easily, it's not a weed.
My wife said we needed to support our tomato plants. I gave them a pep talk.
Trying to grow eggplants but I can't figure out how deep to bury the chicken.
More plant jokes...
If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathize with it?
No, they say "i chlorofeel you man."
What do dry gin and pollinating plants have in common?
They're both Bee-Feeders.
Plant scientists have used genetic engineering to create a new variety of orange.
The novel navel.
What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?
The family tree.
What'd one marijuana plant say to the other marijuana plant?
Let's be best buds.
What happened to the two apple trees that were planted together?
They lived appley ever after.
My gardener is entering his Bonsai plants in a contest this weekend.
I’m rooting for him.
What type of plants do skateboarders grow?
Faceplants.
What kind of plant do ghosts like to hide behind?
BamBOO!
I wanna tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants.
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.
You can’t plant flowers...
...if you haven’t botany.
What does a plant do when someone close to his friend dies?
He photo-sympathizes.