Plants Jokes: The Funniest Collection of Botanical Humor.

My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.

What did the beaver say to the tree?
It’s nice gnawing you!

All these companies bragging about making plants taste like meat...

Cows have been doing that forever!

What's a plumber's least favourite vegetable?

Leeks.

If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathize with it?
No, they say "i chlorofeel you man."

What do dry gin and pollinating plants have in common?
They're both Bee-Feeders.

Plant scientists have used genetic engineering to create a new variety of orange.
The novel navel.

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?
The family tree.

What'd one marijuana plant say to the other marijuana plant?
Let's be best buds.

What happened to the two apple trees that were planted together?
They lived appley ever after.

My gardener is entering his Bonsai plants in a contest this weekend.
I’m rooting for him.

What type of plants do skateboarders grow?
Faceplants.

What kind of plant do ghosts like to hide behind?
BamBOO!

I wanna tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants.
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

You can’t plant flowers...
...if you haven’t botany.

What does a plant do when someone close to his friend dies?
He photo-sympathizes.