Unleashing the Laughter in Language.

Language humor is like a double-edged sword: it can make you laugh till you cry, but it can also leave you crying because you don't get the joke.

Linguistics jokes collection.

Linguistics: because sometimes even native speakers need a translator.

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.

Of course I can read Polish, I just don't know what the words mean.

After a long career my Spanish teacher retired.

Au revoir.

"What is a tautology?"

"A tautology is a tautology."

A disastrous Thursday for the French:


Why do innuendos and double entendres drive you crazy?

Cause they're a Hintfinite loop.

We all laugh in the same language.

My son asked me, "What does déjà vu mean?"

I said, "I have a feeling you asked me this before!"

Your accent is your voice’s font.

It's a fact a lot of us do NOT know the meaning of the French word "pourquoi".
Translate that into English and you'll see why.

English lesson.

Tsunami T is silent
Psychology P is silent.
Knife K is silent
Honest H is silent
Wife Husband is silent

What did the English ‘c’ say to the French ‘ç’ ?

“Monsieur, your zipper’s down.”

Induction: the act of inserting ducks.

Deduction: the act of removing ducks.

Reduction: the act of putting the ducks back.

The word PAPA means pope in Italian, shark in Swahili, potato in Quechua and arse in Maori.
I wonder if papa John ever shoved a hot papa up the papa of a basking papa?

Why mexicans cant cross the border in threes?
No trespassing.

Linguistics humor: where the syntax of laughter meets the phonetics of amusement.

I hate people who use deep English just to make us feel intoxicated by exuberance of verbosity betaprutal contraption.

In American English, the T in "Subtle" is silent because we threw that thing in the Boston Harbor.

“Everyone smiles in the same language.”
- George Carlin

I was out walking when this Spanish guy passed by me three times. I thought whats up with him, then realised he was a trespasser.

is Spanish the plural of wife is wives and its spelled
which translates back to wives...
and handcuffs or manacles...

Whoever put the 'b' in subtle was a clever bastard.

FUN Fact:
Go. is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I'm impecunious.

America: We are free from the British, what should we do first?

Someone in the back of the crowd: Let’s change our spelling.

What language does Santa Claus speak? North Polish.

Why is a bra singular and panties plural?

I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead.
- Sue Kolinsky

Basically English is what happened when Vikings learned Latin and used it to shout at Germans.

I speak 4 languages, English, profanity, sarcasm & real shit!

"Is there a word in the English language that contains all the vowels?"


In the world of language humor, the true irony lies in the fact that the cleverest jokes are often the hardest to translate.

I said to my local Baker "I would like a Sweet Pastry please'
He said "Danish"
I said "Oh Sorry, Jeg vil gerne have et sødt kager venligst"

Why do zombies speak Latin? It's a dead language.

Double negatives don’t make no sense...
I am Positive about that!

I bet my road rage would be taken more seriously if I spoke German.

I am. Is the shortest sentence in the English language. I do. Is the longest.

What did the goose say when his flock landed on a balcony in Brazil?
I don’t know - I don’t speak porch of geese.

Why do zombies speak Latin? It's a dead language.

I met a man named Jim Apple the other day.

He has trouble introducing himself in France.

I was telling my mate that my new dog only responds to commands in a foreign language.
” He said, “Español?” I replied, “No, he’s a poodle.”

I asked my Spanish friend to include me in his email, he said C C.

What did one Japanese man say to the other?

I've no idea—I don't speak Japanese.

Do you know that in Russian
"sock" means "juice",
"so sock" means "nipple",
"bro sock" means "throw"
and "no sock" means "sock"?
Crazy Russians!

"My dog's learning to speak a foreign language."
"No, he's a labrador."

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are at the back of the crowd watching a street juggler. The juggler noticed the guys had trouble seeing him so he stands on a large wooden box and shouts, "Can you see me now?" They answer one at a time: "Yes." "Oui." "Sí." "Ja."

I started to study Scandinavian languages, but I never did Finnish.

The irony of language humor is that it often leaves people speechless.

“The tongue is the only tool that gets sharper with use.”
• Washington Irving

Don’t use big words when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity.

- "My mum is from London, but my dad is from Helsinki."
- "Half Finnish?"
- "Sure. My mum is from London, mutta isäni on kotoisin Helsingistä."

I saw a bunch of chickens playing in the pool. One had his eyes closed. They were playing Marco Pollo.

Bill to Jim, "what the heck Jim, I just heard your dog meowing, how come? "
"Ah yes, that's ok, he's just learning a second language." 🐕

More Jokes about linguists and linguistics on the following pages...