Politically Incorrect Jokes that Push Boundaries!

- Why do Jews have big noses?
- Free air.

At our local zoo, they treated us just like Royalty.

Just the other day during our visit, a monkey escaped and ran off with our ginger son.

I keep making racist jokes about my Dad and his Thai bride. He finds it really annoying...
And so does my dad.

Q: What does a cannibal do after he eats a vegetable?
A: He throws away the wheelchair!

What’s the difference between the US and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.

I saw a one legged man at the atm, he was checking his balance.

Fact:
Prison inmates do more to stop pedophilia than our own government.

- What does the KKK and Nike's shoes have in common?
- They both make black people run faster.

I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.

If you're bored......
Phone up a women's rights group & ask to speak to the man in charge!!!

- How do you get a blond off of her knees?
- Cum!

An Illegal Immigrant picks up a hooker.
"Hey, how much you charge for DA hour, sister?" he asks.
"$100" she replies.
In broken English, he says, "Do you do immigrant style?
"No" she says.
"I pay you $200 to do immigrant style."
"No," she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.
"I pay you $300."
"No," she says.
"I pay you $400.
"No," she says....So finally he says,
"OK, I pay $1,000 to do immigrant style."
She thinks, "Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've had every kind of request from weirdoes from every part of the world. How bad could immigrant style be?
So she agrees and has sex with him. Finally, they finish.
Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was ok. So, what exactly is immigrant style?"
The illegal immigrant replies, "You send bill to Government."

What do you call a hundred white men running down a hill? Avalanche.
What do you call a hundred black men running down a hill? Mudslide.
What do you call a hundred latinos running down a hill? Jailbreak.

- how do you get 20 babies into one stroller?
- with a blender.

One day I was walking down the street and I saw a black guy riding a bike. I exclaimed ‘’hey! that’s mine!’’ But when I got home it was still there, shining my shoes.

A Jew walks onto a bus, holding a large duffle bag. He asks for senior discount, even though he looked like a man in his early 40s. The driver asks for ID, the Jew complains and refuses to pay full fare. They start arguing, both too stubborn to give in. In a rage, the driver throws the Jew’s duffle bag off the bus, and the bag tumbles down a hill. The Jew shouts “Oy Vey! Just because I don't want to pay full fare you try to kill my son?!“

“I was stunned by how many Israeli politicians are going to prison. When you ask an Israeli politician what his cell number is, it has a whole other meaning.”—Jay Leno

Difference between Heaven and Hell, Heaven is a place with British policemen, French Chefs, German auto mechanics, Italian lovers and a Swiss to keep everyone organized. Hell is a place with British chefs, French auto mechanics, German policemen, Swiss lovers and an Italian trying to organize everyone.

How did they know that princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders on the dash.

I'm not racist, I have a color tv.

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

What did the gay guy order at the club?
Shots for everybody.

Why doesn't Mexico win the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim are in the US.

I was fired from my job at the suicide hotline, they said I was too supportive.

Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we shot the last one that had a dream.

- What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?
- Bisexual.

- What's the difference between a Mexican girlfriend and a Mexican wife?
- About 50 lbs.

I like my violence like I like my beer...
Domestic.

I don't know where I stand on abortion. I mean, I like killing babies, but I don't like giving women a choice.

Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are gone. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

- What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do?
- Wrong.

Say what you want about pedofiles but, at least they drive slow through school zones.

Two gay guys move in together. On the first morning in the new apartment gay guy number one goes into the kitchen and finds gay guy number two jerking off into a condom. Gay guy number one yells out "what the hell are you doing"? Gay guy number two replies "I thought I'd get up early and pack your lunch"!

A pedophile and an eight year old boy are walking in the forest at dusk.
Eight year old: “It's getting darker, I’m scared!”
Pedophile: “You’re scared? What about me? I have to walk out of here alone!”

Q: what's the difference between a pussy and a cunt ???
A: a pussy is warm soft and inviting……A cunt is the woman that owns it.

Q: What's the most confusing holiday in Harlem?
A: Father's day !!!

Q: what do you get when you cross a black guy with a Mexican ???
A: you get a son of a bitch thats too lazy to steal.

- How did the Native Americans get to America first?
- They had reservations.

I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

Q: Do you know who was the first black guy to admit he is the father?
A: Darth Vader.

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!