100+ Social networks and social media jokes !

The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.

" Remember when people had diaries and got mad when someone read them,
Now they put everything online and get mad when people don't..."

At first, I thought my idea for a social media platform had failed
But then I made a 4chan.

If your Twitter pic is a car, then I can only assume you're a transformer.

I just found out my wife has a twin. I saw her on Tinder.

The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.

I was shaving my private part using my phone as mirror .

I didn't know I was live on TIKTOK.

The best sign of a happy relationship is no sign of it on social media.

The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.

Coworker: I can't find you on Facebook?
Me: I found you first and blocked you.

Just had a look when Sinead OConnor was last trending on Twitter.

It's been 7 hours and 15 days.

What do you give an influencer with bad breath?

A tik tok.

My girlfriend has made so much money since she's been on OnlyFans that I've got a new car and a set of custom golf clubs
I do worry that someone will recognize her in public and tell her she's on it though.

Remember when everyone who had diaries got pissed off when someone read them?
Now they put everything on Facebook and get pissed off when they don't!

I signed up for an anti-social network.
I think there's a lot of us, but nobody posts.
If they do, we'll be watching...

Facebook really be just a bunch of sad people making each other laugh with memes.

What is an example of a Facebook paradox?
Discovering one of their user's is trying to build a bomb and having to decide between reporting him to the FBI or serving him ads for digital timers.

What does Match.com and the FBI's Top Ten list have in common?
I'm not wanted on either.

If Elon doesn’t rename Twitter to MySpaceX then what’s the point?

Reddit karma is a lot like sex
I don't get it.

How many Karma whores does it take to screw on a lightbulb?
When this reaches 500 upvotes I'll tell you.

What's the difference between Bad Karma and Reddit Karma?
You get Bad Karma by stealing other people's belongings. You get Reddit Karma by stealing other people's jokes.

My buddy asked me how my post got so much karma
“Simple, piece of cake”

During breakfast my wife told me that she's leaving me because of my obsession with Twitter.

I nearly choked on my #brown.

Facebook removed my joke about rice cakes because they said it was tasteless.

Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.

If you gets a link called 'free porn' dont opin it.
It is a birus wich deactivates your spelcheck and garblis up you riting.
I also receibed it but lukily I dont does porn so I dint opin it.

When life gives you lemons, tweet about it.

Maybe Jesus only had 12 followers because he never retweeted anyone.

Them: explain it to me like I’m a child.

Me: I can’t because I don’t have TikTok.

Some people wonder why I never comment or like their posts... they don't realize it's because I unfollowed them a long time ago!

“Dad, what’s a coworker?”

“Someone you block on social media.”

" Remember when people had diaries and got mad when someone read them,
Now they put everything online and get mad when people don't..."

Social networking is like a club. Twitter is the dance floor, Tumblr is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the toilets.

Twitter 69 - you retweet me, I'll retweet you.

late replies are so attractive like damn u don't give a fuck huh.

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, 0 mutual friends, Who the hell are you?

Ask me to prove I’m not a bot again and I’ll send you a dick pic.

FBI: We need to update our facial recognition files.

FB: Okay, we'll start a 10 year challenge ASAP!

Many famous instagrammers are selfie made people.

What does Santa post on his Instagram account?... Elfies!

When I first heard I had followers I was confused...I kept looking behind me but saw no one.

If your Twitter pic is a car, then I can only assume you're a transformer.

Social media isn’t the problem...

The problem is who you choose to follow.

I'm really excited whenever my tweet gets two likes. It's not every day I amuse both my parents.

Dance like nobody’s watching .
Sing like nobody’s listening.
Tweet like nobody gives a fuck.

How do two arsonists hook up?

A match on tinder.

Twitter is a great reminder how funny psychopaths can be from a safe distance.

Twitter: because having nothing to say never stopped anyone.

I sign into Facebook once a week to "like" my wife's status updates, so don't tell me that married people don't communicate.

Sometimes I retweet people just to remind them they haven’t unfollowed me yet.

Don't follow me. I'm not going anywhere.

I don't delete my bad tweets because why should I suffer alone.

Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it.

It's never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".

Facebook changed its name but does it really Meta.

Facebook status - -I am done with this shit- Me -
-Did you wipe?-

Facebook is changing it's name to Meta, which is ironic since we never met most of the people we're friends with on Facebook.

Don't text me while I'm texting you.
Now I have to go back and change my text.

Pro Tip - yell out a bunch of stuff you want for Fathers Day near your spouses phone. Facebook ads will take care of the rest.

Before Facebook, bumper stickers, t-shirts and bathroom walls were how we shared memes.

“I’ve just got a new Twitter follower, a lady from a city in North West Italy”

“Genoa?”

“Not very well, no...”

What is a thousand times better than Instagram?
Instakilogram.

Thanks for accepting my friend request.
You'll regret it soon enough.

Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this'.

Shoutout to that one person that hears you when you’re talking in a group and smiles or replies so you don’t feel like an idiot.

There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.

Any idea if I can buy a fence on Facebook? I’ve seen a lot of good posts.

My friend msgd:
What does 'idk' mean?
I said: I don't know.
He said: oh ok nvm.
I said: what does nvm mean?
He said: nevermind.
I said: oh ok

Cost me a fortune yesterday... facebook was down and I had to ring 42 friends to tell them what I had for breakfast...

I set up a living with paranoia page on Instagram…. Now everyone is following me.

Why do babies want to use the internet?
So they can Google Gaga!!

My wife left me due to my obsession with Facebook.

I didn't even get a notification .