Social networks and social media jokes !

IF YOU SEE A LINK ON TWITTER THAT SAYS "FREE NUDES" DON'T CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.

Twitter: because having nothing to say never stopped anyone.

" Remember when people had diaries and got mad when someone read them,
Now they put everything online and get mad when people don't..."

Social media is a lot like Ancient Egypt. A lot of Cat worshiping goes on!

When I first heard I had followers I was confused...I kept looking behind me but saw no one.

If your Twitter pic is a car, then I can only assume you're a transformer.

Social media isn’t the problem...

The problem is who you choose to follow.

I'm really excited whenever my tweet gets two likes. It's not every day I amuse both my parents.

Dance like nobody’s watching .
Sing like nobody’s listening.
Tweet like nobody gives a fuck.

How do two arsonists hook up?

A match on tinder.

Twitter is a great reminder how funny psychopaths can be from a safe distance.

Twitter: because having nothing to say never stopped anyone.

I sign into Facebook once a week to "like" my wife's status updates, so don't tell me that married people don't communicate.

Sometimes I retweet people just to remind them they haven’t unfollowed me yet.

Don't follow me. I'm not going anywhere.

I don't delete my bad tweets because why should I suffer alone.

Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it.

It's never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".

Facebook changed its name but does it really Meta.

Facebook status - -I am done with this shit- Me -
-Did you wipe?-

Facebook is changing it's name to Meta, which is ironic since we never met most of the people we're friends with on Facebook.

Don't text me while I'm texting you.
Now I have to go back and change my text.

Pro Tip - yell out a bunch of stuff you want for Fathers Day near your spouses phone. Facebook ads will take care of the rest.

Before Facebook, bumper stickers, t-shirts and bathroom walls were how we shared memes.

“I’ve just got a new Twitter follower, a lady from a city in North West Italy”

“Genoa?”

“Not very well, no...”

What is a thousand times better than Instagram?
Instakilogram.

Thanks for accepting my friend request.
You'll regret it soon enough.

Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this'.

Shoutout to that one person that hears you when you’re talking in a group and smiles or replies so you don’t feel like an idiot.

There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.

Any idea if I can buy a fence on Facebook? I’ve seen a lot of good posts.

My friend msgd:
What does 'idk' mean?
I said: I don't know.
He said: oh ok nvm.
I said: what does nvm mean?
He said: nevermind.
I said: oh ok

Cost me a fortune yesterday... facebook was down and I had to ring 42 friends to tell them what I had for breakfast...

I set up a living with paranoia page on Instagram…. Now everyone is following me.

Why do babies want to use the internet?
So they can Google Gaga!!

My wife left me due to my obsession with Facebook.

I didn't even get a notification .

I was worried my notifications had stopped working but luckily I’m just unpopular

Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram.
We had to bore people in person with photo albums.

I'm "used to get kicked off the internet when the house phone rang" years old.

I want to learn how to be a tightrope walker, but I can't find a local instructor. Looks like I'll have to take a class... on line.

Why did the zombie ignore all his Facebook friends? He was still DIGESTING all of his followers on Twitter!

Since Facebook claims ownership of everything you post on their website

I think I should start uploading my bills.

In these days of internet if you want to keep a woman happy, you'd better tweet her right.

This morning I was shaving my private part and I was using my phone camera as a mirror. Everything was going very well not until I started getting likes on Facebook.

Social media is a lot like Ancient Egypt. A lot of Cat worshiping goes on!

I opened a new Facebook group for pyromaniacs.
Everyone gets on like a house on fire.

Yesterday a girl commented on my post, a guy replied, she replied again and they were about to fall in love so i deleted the post!!

I heard there's a great article on this one website, but I haven't 'Reddit' yet.

There's a nudist convention happening tomorrow via Zoom.

I might join it if I've got nothing on.

Me: "Doctor you've got to help me. I'm addicted to twitter."

Doctor: "I don't follow you."

IF YOU SEE A LINK ON TWITTER THAT SAYS "FREE NUDES" DON'T CLICK ON IT.

IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.

My email password got hacked again...

That's the third time I've had to rename the cat!

I can’t stop taking pictures of myself in front of boiling water.

I have Selfie Steam Issues.

Mark Zuckerberg went to the Library to ask if they have a book on Faces.