Embrace the spirit of Thanksgiving with a good laugh.
"Thanksgiving is the one day a year I can eat like a Kardashian and not feel guilty."
- Ellen DeGeneres
"I'm thankful for the turkey that doesn't talk back."
- Ryan Reynolds
Thanksgiving laughs that will have you rolling in gravy!
Why do real estate agents love Thanksgiving so much?
They have “lots” to be grateful for.
Q: What are turkeys thankful for on Thanksgiving?
Q: What do jazz-lovers put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
“Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: Watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car."
— Stephen Colbert
Q: What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?
This morning, my wife said she wanted me to help fix Thanksgiving dinner.
I said, “Why? Is it broken?”
“A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying 'that smells good' to be helping.”
— Jimmy Fallon
Q: What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving Day?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for one day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.
So this guy checks into rehab the day after Thanksgiving. As it turns out, he just couldn’t quit cold turkey.
I shot my first-ever turkey for Thanksgiving this year. Sure scared everyone in the grocery store, though.
Get stuffed with laughter this Thanksgiving with our jokes!
"My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey."
Wives are like Thanksgiving turkeys …
They eventually get fat and then stop gobbling.
So a housewife is preparing thanksgiving dinner when her husband comes in, and she asks, "are you hungry, dear?"
And the turkey answers, "no, I'm stuffed."
If you want me to stop with the thanksgiving puns I need you to know
I just cant stop cold turkey.
My wife told me no one is coming over for Thanksgiving and I can sit in my underwear all day, so much to be thankful for.
Just a reminder:
If the Indians had shot a donkey instead of a turkey, you'd all be getting a piece of Ass for Thanksgiving.
If there is anybody alone and have no one to spend Thanksgiving with this year, please let me know.
I need to borrow some chairs.
This year I vow not to tell any jokes about Thanksgiving leftovers. I'm going to... (wait for it) ...quit cold turkey.
Gonna try not to celebrate the Devil’s Holiday this year.
Of course I mean Thanksgiving with my in-laws.