Love Lost and Found: Ex-Boyfriend and Ex-Girlfriend Jokes.

My ex used to love coming home to find me naked on her bed.

Now she calls the police.

I sent a food parcel to my former wife.
Fed Ex.

I dated a Swiss girl, but broke up with her after visiting her hometown.

There were a load of red flags.

My ex never wore panties to cookouts....

It kept the flies off the food.

My Ex called me a sex machine.

Well. her exact words were "fucking tool" but I knew what she meant.

My ex was like "I know a spot" then took me to the lowest point in my life.

My ex was like "I know a spot" then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Somebody with yo ex right now realizing why you left.

My ex gf is a pirates worst nightmare !

A sunken chest with no booty .........

Once in a while send "I miss you babe" to your ex just to interrupt the healing process...

I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex’s there.
#incestjoke

Never trust a man that calls you SEXY because he will remove the Y and have sex with you then run away with S and call you Ex.

My ex girlfriend had a role playing fetish. She liked to dress up as herself, and act like
a fucking bitch.

Going back to your ex is like reheating McDonald's fries.

The videos of your ex in your gallery should be called x videos.

My Ex wedding will
Be on Sunday
I can't wait to Dance
And kick the cake
By mistake.

The word "exams" starts from "ex"
So cheating is our 1st priority.

An “EX” is called an “ex” because it’s an EXample of what you shouldn’t have again in the future.

My Ex-Girlfriend had a fantastic set of Tits..!

However one was a bit bigger than the other.

She wasn't really that Self-Conscious.

Until she entered a Wet T-Shirt Contest and came 1st and 3rd..!

Came across an ex girlfriend last night….

I’ve still got a key to her flat and she’s a really heavy sleeper!

What do you call a delivery girl who dated an FBI agent?
A Fed Ex.

My ex got sent to jail for plotting a radical socialist coup.
Guess I should have...
Paid attention to the red flags.

So when you get married, your wife becomes your ex-girlfriend.

I texted my ex the other day to tell her I still think about her during sex because it keeps me from climaxing!

I'm sorry sir, your ex-wife was pronounced dead.

I cant belive i've been pronouncing it wrong all this time!

My last gf talked about her ex so much had me missing that man too.

I looked across the museum hall and spotted my ex girlfriend but I just couldnt say hello.
There was just too much history between us.

A Girlfriend is Temporary But an Ex-Girlfriend is for Lifetime..!

Relationships nowdays: 1 Male, 1 Female, 1 Ex trying to mess it up & 1 friend secretly hoping it ends.

My ex-girlfriend's so lazy, she won't even use her whole hand when she waves at me in the street.
She just uses her middle finger.

I like the sound of thunder because there’s always a tiny little chance that my ex will be struck by lightning.

I was going to play the lottery, but then my ex messaged and reminded me that I suck at picking winners.

FUN Fact:
In 2013, a man bought a house next to his ex-wife just to install a giant middle finger statue for her to see every day.

Guess who woke up with 20 missed calls from his ex? My ex.

I called my ex “morning” because he always came early.

I should have paid more attention in algebra class.
I have
2 X's and I don't know Y.

Your Ex asking to be friends after breaking up is like kidnappers asking you to 'keep in touch' after letting you go...

I tell you who could always see right through people, my ex Ray.

I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend.
She was still obsessed with her x.

My Ex took it personal when Santa said Ho Ho Ho.

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again. MAN, I sure am LUCKY!I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!

What's the difference between a husband and an ex-boyfriend?
One kisses the Mrs. and the other misses the kisses

My last girlfriend she
was like a drug.
My ex-Stacy.

What do you call a divorced person who just took a shower?
A clean-ex.

For $5 I'll comment on your exes new relationship photos saying "you've had better".

I miss my ex-girlfriend, we split up over her constant habit of counting..
Wonder what she’s up to now..

Фира, не выноси мне мозг!
Яша, так его туда и не заносили.

I sent a food parcel to my former wife, Fed Ex.

My ex-girlfriend and I met each other while running the London Marathon last year.

It was a long-distance relationship.

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you ... As a joke

I made a graph showing my past relationships.

It has an eX axis and a whY axis.

I made a graph for my past relationships.

It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.

My wife was in tears when she called me from A&E, I said what's wrong, she said I've just seen my x-ray, I said dont talk to him, just ignore him.

I'm developing a meal service for divorcees. I'm thinking of calling it Fed Ex.

My Ex-Girlfriend was a keen Cyclist.
I used to follow her everywhere in the Car.
In the end we broke up because I wasn't giving her enough space.

My ex asked me how my life was.
Nothing but my passwords have changed.

My Ex-Girlfriend was heavily into Feng Shui and always had to decorate each room herself.
But since she moved out the Tables have turned.

I can't believe what a lucky guy I am...
First I win the lottery and then my ex wife calls to say she wants us to get back together.

My ex gf was so thin, she only weighed about ninety pounds, I had to buy a single bed so I could sleep next to her.

I was having a big argument with my ex and she said.....Well your friends Dave and Chris both want to date me, I wonder who will be the lucky one..
I said, well I think you will end up with Chris, so clearly Dave will be the lucky one.