Nothing beats jealousy like a good laugh. Cure Your Green-Eyed Jealousy with the Power of Humor and Laughter.
Whether you're feeling envious of a friend or a colleague, let our collection of jokes put a smile on your face and lighten your mood.
Join us now and start laughing!
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2024-12-20.
Selected jealousy jokes:
You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.
I'm jealous of my parents because I'll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies.
I'm jealous of my parents...
I'll never have a kid as cool as them.
More jealousy jokes...
I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you.
You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.
Me: “I’m so jealous of your heart right now” her: “why?”
Me: “because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not”.
What’s the best part about plowing your cousin?
-It makes your sister jealous.
#incest
I'm jealous of my parents...
I'll never have a kid as cool as them.
I’m not a jealous person, unless of course you have coffee and I don’t.
I'm jealous of my parents because I'll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
The way I miss sex
I even feel jealous when I put a key in a padlock.
Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies.
60 years old Millionaire gets married
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"Well", he replied. "I said I was 87!"
My neighbour has a fetish for holidays.
I thought he was just jealous when he asked "Can I come in your suitcase?"
Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.
“Did you get that for your birthday?” Asked Little Johnny.
“Nope.” Replied Jimmy.
“Well, did you get it for Christmas then?”
Again Jimmy says. “Nope.”
“You didn’t steal it, did you?” Asks Little Johnny.
“No.” Said Jimmy.
“I went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night when they were doing the nasty. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me. “
Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea and extremely jealous of Jimmy’s new watch.
He vowed to get one for himself.
That night, he waited outside his parents’ bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom.
His father, caught in mid-stroke, turned and said angrily.
“What do you want now?”
“I wanna watch,” Johnny replied.
Without missing a stroke, his father said.
“Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet.”
Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.