Funny proverbs and hilarious sayings !

It takes patience to listen.
It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
~ Old Italian proverb...

In a closed mouth, flies do not enter.
Mexican Proverb.

There's a Hungarian saying....

Whatever he says not even the opposite is true...

Hope is a first step to disappointment.

A popular Norwegian adage says,"There’s no bad weather, just bad clothing choices."

Weak men create hard times.

There's a Hungarian saying....

Whatever he says not even the opposite is true...

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Life is like a box of chocolates. more expensive than i was expecting.

Old problems have old solutions.

When you argue with a fool, you always lose.

You can tell a lot about a village by its idiot.

The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.

Nothing is really lost until your wife can't find it.

A wise man pretends to be a fool.

An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.

What goes across comes across.
- Flat Earther

Empty vessels make the most noise.

A computer will never replace a human.
-Cannibal proverb

A dick a day keeps the vibrator away.

Some are wise.

Some are otherwise.

When you get old in the hips, you got to be young in the lips.

Easier to Ask for Forgiveness than Permission.

Risk is better than regret.

Ejaculation a day will help keep prostate cancer at bay.

Until the lion learns how to write, every story will glorify the hunter.

- African Proverb

A tongue in the ass, keeps her ex in the past.

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

The bigger the fupa, the tastier the chalupa.

You can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

" Some talk to you in their free time and some free their time to talk to you..."

No pain no gain, more pain still no gain.

A popular Norwegian adage says,"There’s no bad weather, just bad clothing choices."

Trouble is just fun you got caught having.

Spend long enough in a room full of shit and it won’t take long for you to ignore the smell.

When you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.

A liars worst enemy is someone with a good memory.

It doesn’t matter how the cookie crumbles, as long as it tastes good.

The less you care, the happier you are.

The bigger the bouquet the smaller the dick.

Unless you work at a carnival, life will never be fair.

Seven days without exercise is enough to make one weak.

Sharing is fun, unless its your own stuff.

Overthinking is my kink.

Ambiguity is the motherfucker of intention.

People get fake when shit gets real.

Visits always give pleasure – if not the arrival, the departure.
- Portuguese Proverb.

Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Actions speak louder with a spanish accent.

A nap a day keeps the responsibilities away.

There's always LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. But if there isn't, it's not a tunnel !!!