Funny Useful and Useless Advice for All Your Problems.

If You Can't Wish for More Wishes, then Wish for More Genies.

Are You Nervous? Don't be Nervous.

Don't Open the Window When in Submarine.

There's a little-known, but foolproof defense against sharks. Sharks will only attack you if you're wet.

My father once told me, "Son, if you want people to listen to what you have to say, claim it's something your father told you."

If you're late, just say, "Sorry I'm late, I was at home sitting down.

Never Read the Words "COVID-19" to the Tune of the Song "Come on Eileen."

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

After giving people advice always say, “I'm not sure it works tho” so they can't say it ruined their life.

If You Hear Weird Noises in the Night, Simply Make Weirder Noises to Assert Dominance.

If you start a phone call with, “My phone is almost dead,” you can hang up at any time.

If you find a toilet in your dream, don’t use it.

When You Want to Annoy Someone at Work, Use Air Quotes when Addressing Their Work Title.

Never drink downstream from a cow herd.

If she asks for four chicken nuggets, buy ten.

Never put your hands into a hole that you can't see into.