Hilarious quotes and jokes about HAPPINESS that will make your day !

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”
~ Robert Morley

Happiness is a warm gun.
-The Beatles.

The mother had three virgin daughters. All three got married almost at the same time and went on a honeymoon. The mother was very worried about the beginning of their sexual life, and asked them to send her at least a few words how it's going.
The first one sent a postcard from Hawaii, just after two days after the wedding. On top of it there was just one word: "Nescafe". Her mother ran into the kitchen, find a coffee "Nescafe" and read on the label: "Blessing" until the last drop". Mother blushed, but was satisfied with her daughter's happiness.
The second daughter sent the postcard from Jamaica a few days later, where she read "Benson n Hedges" cigars. She immediately went to the man's room, where she found his "Benson Hedges" and read "Extra Long cigars. King Size". She again shyly blushed, but was happy for her daughter.
The third daughter went off for the honeymoon to Caribbean. Mother was waiting for
the week – nothing. Week later - nothing again. Only a month later finally got a postcard, where with the trembling hand was written "British Airways". Mother quickly found a journal and began to look for what she was afraid about, and then she found British Airways advertisement and read: "Three times a day, seven days a week, in both ends!"

The reason why short people are always angry is because they can't reach happiness.

Anal, because happiness often sneaks in a door you didn't think was open.

Dark jokes are happiness...
Not everyone gets it...

Happiness for engineering students? Lecture canceled.

“The ‘H’ in ENGINEER stands for happiness.”
—Unknown

Gerrold's Fundamental Truth: It's a good thing money can't buy happiness. We couldn't stand the commercials.

Happiness comes from within.

That's why it always feels so good to fart.

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”
~ Robert Morley

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
– W. P. Kinsella

"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A disciplined mind brings happiness."

- Buddha

"Happiness is just results minus expectations."

The H in programming stands for happiness.

"Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved!

That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly."
- Leo Tolstoy

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”

- Marcus Aurelius

"When there is love you can live even without happiness."
- Fyodor Dostoevsky

This is my last message to you: in sorrow, seek happiness.

• Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Happiness is a warm gun.
-The Beatles.

MONEY > if it doesn't bring you happiness, it will at least help you be miserable in comfort...

“It is difficult to find happiness within oneself, but it is impossible to find it anywhere else.”
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

If you seek happiness, master the art of patience, for this is half the battle.

The key to happiness is a poor memory.

You can't buy happiness, but you can pay a babysitter which is essentially the same thing.

Contrary to popular belief, money can buy Happiness.

However, that’s just
her stage name...

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved — loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

~ Victor Hugo

''The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.''

~ Marcus Aurelius

The “H” in “PROGRAMMER” stands for Happiness.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness never paid for a divorce.

“Happiness sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.”
John Barrymore

Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness.
Sophocles

Depression Is Just Reverse Happiness.

I never knew what true happiness was till I got married, and then it was too late..

“The supreme happiness of life consists in the conviction that one is loved.”
– Victor Hugo

"Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it."
By Fyodor Dostoevsky

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”
~ Robert Morley

Happiness comes from within that's why it feels good to fart.

"Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly."

By Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

"…happiness [is] but the occasional episode in a general drama of pain."

By Thomas Hardy, The Mayor of Casterbridge

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”
~ Robert Morley

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."

~Earnest Hemingway

Today I donated a watch, a phone and my wallet to a poor guy.
You can't imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him putting his gun back in his pocket.

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
– Oscar Wilde

The mother had three virgin daughters. All three got married almost at the same time and went on a honeymoon. The mother was very worried about the beginning of their sexual life, and asked them to send her at least a few words how it's going.
The first one sent a postcard from Hawaii, just after two days after the wedding. On top of it there was just one word: "Nescafe". Her mother ran into the kitchen, find a coffee "Nescafe" and read on the label: "Blessing" until the last drop". Mother blushed, but was satisfied with her daughter's happiness.
The second daughter sent the postcard from Jamaica a few days later, where she read "Benson n Hedges" cigars. She immediately went to the man's room, where she found his "Benson Hedges" and read "Extra Long cigars. King Size". She again shyly blushed, but was happy for her daughter.
The third daughter went off for the honeymoon to Caribbean. Mother was waiting for
the week – nothing. Week later - nothing again. Only a month later finally got a postcard, where with the trembling hand was written "British Airways". Mother quickly found a journal and began to look for what she was afraid about, and then she found British Airways advertisement and read: "Three times a day, seven days a week, in both ends!"

The reason why short people are always angry is because they can't reach happiness.