Random power quote/joke:
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
Officer: Age?
Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don't do birthdays.
Officer: Height?
Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
OFFICER : Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
OFFICER : Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think.
OFFICER : Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.
OFFICER : What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
OFFICER : What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
OFFICER : What kind of truck was it?
Husband : A 2017, manufactured September 16th, pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 .with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera,
Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch,
sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires.
It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.
At this point the husband started choking up.
OFFICER : Take it easy sir, We'll find your truck.
Unveiling Truths, Nurturing Minds, Inspiring Wisdom.
- Updated:
2025-07-10.
Selected power quotes/jokes:
I'm like a superhero with no powers or motivation.
Essentially, globalization represents the consolidation of absolute economic, political, and cultural power into the hands of a cabal of super rich dynastic families.
We call my Grandad Spider-Man. It's not because he has special powers, it's because he can't get out the bath.
If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.
-Peace Pilgrim
More power quotes/jokes...
Measurement Humor:
Ratio of igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarse power
Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
365 days drinking lo-cal beer = 1 lite year
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = won ton
10 rations = decoration
2 doctors = paradox
Time between slipping and hitting the pavement = 1 bananosecond
What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A power plant! 🌷
Once, in a faraway land, there was this doctor who was a professional trickster...
This doctor was quite popular, but he had a big, bad secret; he deceives people. How? Well, let's just say a patient walks into his office with an illness. The doctor, after doing some checkups, gives his prescription for a medicine, which he even gives for free. It turns out, however, that the medicine actually makes the illness *worse*. Then, when they go back to the doctor, he prescribes a real medication for an absurd price. This strategy has given him tons of cash over the years with no suspicions. That is, until now.
Scientists have run checks over his "medicine" and discovered the truth. The doctor is jailed for his crimes and is scheduled to be killed via electric chair at midnight.
But, when the doctor sits on the electric chair, something happens. The officer assigned to flip the electric switch to do away with the criminal is flabbergasted at how the doctor is surviving the shocks at max power. Other officers witnessed this, and finally, on the next afternoon, he is freed from all charges due to this paranormal happening.
Unfortunately, the doctor is at it again, tricking his customers. His patients are more mad than ever, and due to a mob of angry, sick civilians, the doctor is jailed and scheduled to be subjected to the wrath of the electric chair at midnight *again*.
But alas! At the stroke of midnight, although the flashes of electricity emanating from the execution room lighted the correctional facility, the doctor did not perish. They released him again in absolute bafflement.
As you may have guessed by now, the doctor continues to scam and sicken his clients. After a month, the whole world has been in outrage over the reign of this infamous doctor. The police reluctantly capture him and schedule him for the old midnight execution drill. Again.
This time, however, during the time of the execution, a stadium of people have come to watch the doctor get electrocuted like a fly in front of their eyes, including the leader of the country's police force. They flip the switch...
The doctor survives. The crowd goes silent.
The chief policeman struts over to the poor doctor and asks him, "How the singular crap are you surviving?! That was literally over a thousand damnable volts! And no, don't give me that 'I'm a bad conductor' line because I have heard that repost a million times on r/Jokes."
The doctor, blackened but very much alive, says, "Yeah, that's not it. I'm a bad con doctor."
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers. 👨🔬
Have you ever seen me tie my shoelaces with the power of my mind?
I thought knot.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
They don't believe in higher powers. ☠
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you retard. It tells me that some bastard has stolen our tent!"