Random quote/joke about LIFE:
80% of my life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts.
Unveiling Truths, Nurturing Minds, Inspiring Wisdom.
- Updated:
2025-09-17.
Selected LIFE quotes/jokes:
Being ugly is basically playing life on hard mode.
The meaning of life is to keep yourself busy with unnecessary shit until you are dead forever.
My bag for life died this morning. Should I be worried?
People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
More LIFE quotes/jokes...
Two men are sitting next to each other on a bus.
They both have a black eye.
One man asks “how’d you get get yours?”
“Oh man, I've never been more embarrassed. I went to order two bus tickets to Pittsburgh and the ticket lady had the biggest boobs i've ever seen! I tried to say "Can i please have two tickets to Pittsburgh," but I was so nervous I accidentally said 'Can I please have two Pickets to Tittsburgh?"
How’d you get your shiner?”
The other replies, “ Funny story, just this morning I meant to say to my wife "Honey, please pass the salt" But what came out was "You ruined my life you fat evil bitch!"
How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.
Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.