Random quote/joke about LIFE:
Life is like playing guitar. I’m not very good at playing guitar.
Unveiling Truths, Nurturing Minds, Inspiring Wisdom.
- Updated:
2025-11-01.
Selected LIFE quotes/jokes:
LIFE HACKS/2023 Edition
1. If Bill Gates is involved, avoid it.
2. If Biden says it's true, it's false.
3. If the CDC, FDA say it's safe, it's dangerous.
4. If congress makes a law to help you, it will eventually hurt you.
5. If the media agrees, it's a lie.
Life Coach: “After a hot bath, drink a glass of chardonnay.”
Client: “But I’ll never finish drinking the bath …”
My life has never gone according to plan. So I just stopped planning.
"Life is like a play: it's not the length, but the excellence of the acting that matters."
- Seneca
More LIFE quotes/jokes...
Two men are sitting next to each other on a bus.
They both have a black eye.
One man asks “how’d you get get yours?”
“Oh man, I've never been more embarrassed. I went to order two bus tickets to Pittsburgh and the ticket lady had the biggest boobs i've ever seen! I tried to say "Can i please have two tickets to Pittsburgh," but I was so nervous I accidentally said 'Can I please have two Pickets to Tittsburgh?"
How’d you get your shiner?”
The other replies, “ Funny story, just this morning I meant to say to my wife "Honey, please pass the salt" But what came out was "You ruined my life you fat evil bitch!"
How is life like a penis?
Your girlfriend makes it hard.
Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.