Hilarious quotes and jokes about POWER that will make your day !

Why did the tree install solar panels?
It wanted to be a power plant.

The power to tax is the power to steal with impunity.

If an individual robber shouldn't have that power, neither should the state.

State badges and credentials don't moralize theft.

I remember sitting in a cell, charged with battery when it wasn’t my volt.
“I’m positive,” I said. “Wire my here? I wanna go ohm.” I felt drained, powerless.
It still hertz like it was yesterday.
😊

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool..The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, .."See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!".She is aching for action at this point...Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door...He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?".She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

Measurement Humor:
Ratio of igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarse power
Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
365 days drinking lo-cal beer = 1 lite year
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = won ton
10 rations = decoration
2 doctors = paradox
Time between slipping and hitting the pavement = 1 bananosecond

What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A power plant! 🌷

Once, in a faraway land, there was this doctor who was a professional trickster...
This doctor was quite popular, but he had a big, bad secret; he deceives people. How? Well, let's just say a patient walks into his office with an illness. The doctor, after doing some checkups, gives his prescription for a medicine, which he even gives for free. It turns out, however, that the medicine actually makes the illness *worse*. Then, when they go back to the doctor, he prescribes a real medication for an absurd price. This strategy has given him tons of cash over the years with no suspicions. That is, until now.

Scientists have run checks over his "medicine" and discovered the truth. The doctor is jailed for his crimes and is scheduled to be killed via electric chair at midnight.

But, when the doctor sits on the electric chair, something happens. The officer assigned to flip the electric switch to do away with the criminal is flabbergasted at how the doctor is surviving the shocks at max power. Other officers witnessed this, and finally, on the next afternoon, he is freed from all charges due to this paranormal happening.

Unfortunately, the doctor is at it again, tricking his customers. His patients are more mad than ever, and due to a mob of angry, sick civilians, the doctor is jailed and scheduled to be subjected to the wrath of the electric chair at midnight *again*.

But alas! At the stroke of midnight, although the flashes of electricity emanating from the execution room lighted the correctional facility, the doctor did not perish. They released him again in absolute bafflement.

As you may have guessed by now, the doctor continues to scam and sicken his clients. After a month, the whole world has been in outrage over the reign of this infamous doctor. The police reluctantly capture him and schedule him for the old midnight execution drill. Again.

This time, however, during the time of the execution, a stadium of people have come to watch the doctor get electrocuted like a fly in front of their eyes, including the leader of the country's police force. They flip the switch...

The doctor survives. The crowd goes silent.

The chief policeman struts over to the poor doctor and asks him, "How the singular crap are you surviving?! That was literally over a thousand damnable volts! And no, don't give me that 'I'm a bad conductor' line because I have heard that repost a million times on r/Jokes."

The doctor, blackened but very much alive, says, "Yeah, that's not it. I'm a bad con doctor."

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers. 👨‍🔬

Have you ever seen me tie my shoelaces with the power of my mind?
I thought knot.

Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
They don't believe in higher powers. ☠

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you retard. It tells me that some bastard has stolen our tent!"