Hilarious jokes about AIRPORTs that will make your day !

I have a condition where I tell bad airport jokes.
The doctor says its terminal.

Just at the airport with my wife, I said "I wish I’d brought the coffee table with us."

"Why is that?" she asked...

"The passports are on it..."

Pro tip: Don't moan when getting a pat down at airport security.

Man wakes up and says nothing. Wife annoyed shouts, “You’ve forgotten what day it is haven’t you.”

Man goes to work and confides to a colleague, “I think I forgot my wife’s birthday.”

“Not a problem,” he replies. Just go out and buy her a beautiful new dress and a pearl necklace.”

After work the man races home and showers his wife with gifts.

“Oh darling,” she replies, “ what a beautiful new outfit to pick my mother up from the airport in.”

What do you call a dying airport computer?

A terminal terminal terminal.

Being an airport baggage handler is more complicated than I thought.

There's a lot to take on board.

Pro tip: Don't moan when getting a pat down at airport security.

At the airport & I just saw a man collapse on the luggage carousel. Think he's ok, as he's just coming round.

When I visit London, sometimes I sleep at the airport to save money; but when the security guard comes at night Heathrows me out.

I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.

BREAKING NEWS!
Heathrow Airport police are concerned at the number of passengers smuggling helium filled balloons in their luggage.

Cases continue to rise…

Pro tip: Don't moan when getting a pat down at airport security.

I drove my wife to the airport and dropped her off.

She got home 30 minutes later in a taxi and said, "What was that about?"

Finding your lost luggage at the airport should be easy.

However, thats not the case.

BREAKING NEWS!
Heathrow Airport police are concerned at the number of passengers smuggling helium filled balloons in their luggage.
Cases continue to rise…

Confucius say, man who run through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

If flying is so safe why is the airport called the terminal ?

What kind of drugs do criminals smuggle through airport security?
Ass crack.

Just at the airport with my wife, I said "I wish I’d brought the coffee table with us."

"Why is that?" she asked...

"The passports are on it..."

I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.

A friend has bought an old aircraft, taken the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant beside the airport terminal.

I don't think it will take off.

Man wakes up and says nothing. Wife annoyed shouts, “You’ve forgotten what day it is haven’t you.”

Man goes to work and confides to a colleague, “I think I forgot my wife’s birthday.”

“Not a problem,” he replies. Just go out and buy her a beautiful new dress and a pearl necklace.”

After work the man races home and showers his wife with gifts.

“Oh darling,” she replies, “ what a beautiful new outfit to pick my mother up from the airport in.”

I really hate being at the airport and seeing everyone else has trendier luggage than me.
It's a real worst case scenario.

Don't you hate it at the airport when everyone has got better looking luggage than you?
It's a worst case scenario.

I have a condition where I tell bad airport jokes.
The doctor says its terminal.

Finding your lost luggage at the airport should be easy...
However, that's not the case.

Is there an airport nearby or is it my heart taking off?

i don't like people who take drugs
for example: airport security.

I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

The doctor says it's terminal.

My luggage was stolen at the airport and never found....I sued the airline but the judge dismissed my suit saying I had no case...

I've been diagnosed with a rare disease called Airport building syndrome.
They said it is terminal. 🛩

At the airport baggage carousel I noticed everyone else had a better bag than me.

It was the 'worst case' scenario.

Everyone at John Lennon International airport has been quarantined.

Imagine....all the people