Hilarious jokes about MUSEUM that will make your day !

I heard on the news that someone robbed the Tokyo Origami museum in Japan. The Anchor said the story was still unfolding!

I looked across the museum hall and spotted my ex girlfriend but I just couldnt say hello.
There was just too much history between us.

Guide: Every floor of this museum has an amazing picture painted on the wall.

Visitor: So you’re saying there’s a mural to every story?

The difference between a Zoo and a Museum is a matter of life and death.

Can't touch this.
Can't touch this.
Can't touch this.

- MC Hammer, guiding a museum tour

Guide: Every floor of this museum has an amazing picture painted on the wall.

Visitor: So you’re saying there’s a mural to every story?

I went to the submarine museum today. It was a bit of a dive.

I looked across the museum hall and spotted my ex girlfriend but I just couldnt say hello.
There was just too much history between us.

I consider myself an art and history buff...

I just Louvre museums!!

If you visit the Museum of Natural History, please don't feed the animals.
They're stuffed!

Just letting you all know that the Beatles museum is now open 8 days a week.

I had a great first day watching over some important, expensive China vases at the British Museum.
Smashed it.

Accidentally locked myself in a glass cabinet in a museum.
I ended up making an exhibition of myself.

Just letting you know that the Beatles museum is now open 8 days a week.

We went to downtown Washington, D. C. yesterday to see the Museum of Government Camouflage and Clandestine Activities, but we couldn't find it!

Tried feeding the animals at the museum but they were already stuffed...

I heard on the news that someone robbed the Tokyo Origami museum in Japan. The Anchor said the story was still unfolding!

The difference between a Zoo and a Museum is a matter of life and death.

I went to a museum and asked if I could take a few pictures. The guard was adamant that the pictures stay on the walls.

Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn't kill the dinosaurs.
I've been to the museum.
It's obvious they starved to death.

Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn't kill the dinosaurs.
I've been to the museum.
It's obvious they starved to death.

Accidentally locked myself in a glass cabinet in a museum.

I ended up making an exhibition of myself...

I went to the Natural History Museum & asked how old the T-Rex skeleton was.

The curator said “66 million and seven years”.

I said “How can you be so accurate?"

He replied “When I started working here they told me it was 66 million & I’ve been here for 7 years”.

Anyone up for a trip to the guillotine museum? I’ll beheaded there later...

I saw my ex girlfriend standing on the other end of the museum hall, but I was too self conscious to go say hello.

There was just too much history between us.

Q: Did you here about the attempt robbery at the museum?
A: They had ran out of gas a few blocks away when the police caught them, and they said, "We didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh"

I saw my ex wife from across the hall in a museum. I was too self conscious to say hello. I mean there was all this history between us.

I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.