Hilarious Shopping Jokes !

Random shopping joke:


Where do dogs go after their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.

Shopping Jokes meme.
Shopping Jokes meme.

Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated: 2025-04-14.




Selected shopping jokes:


Not to brag, but cashiers are always checking me out!!


The guy couldn't find anything to buy in the adult toy store no matter how hard he shopped.


Why do they call the shopping center the mall???
Because you don’t just go to one store you go to TheM all!!!!!


They say don’t go grocery shopping while you’re hungry.
But it’s been a week and I just keep getting hungrier.



More shopping jokes...


I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.


Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get the open a shop on it!


So I went to the binoculars shop the other day, tell you what, they saw me coming.


Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
Ones made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.


Bought a new vacuum on Black Friday.
It sucks!


I used to go into shopping centres and rotate the body parts of the mannequins…I don’t think everyone noticed, but I certainly turned a few heads.


Never do bedroom shopping while drunk
It can lead to one nightstand.


Customer: May I try on that dress in the window, please?
Clerk: No, ma’am. You’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.


They say don’t go grocery shopping while you’re hungry.
But it’s been a week and I just keep getting hungrier.


I saw a man with one arm shopping at a second hand store.
I told him “you’re not going to find what you’re looking for.”


Black Friday is a scam. You should be mad they overcharge you 364 days a year.


Gap has announced plans to open its first retail stores in India and China. Tags on clothes and stickers on items will read, "Made Here."


What does a ghost do when he's hungry?
Go ghost-ry shopping.


Where do dogs go after their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.


Why did Michael Jackson go shopping at the mall?
He heard boys underwear was half off.


What do you call a mall security guard with a military background?
A Navy Wet Seal.


What was the horse looking for at the mall? A Macintosh.


What happens when a judge gets something to eat at the mall?
He places an "Order in the food court".


Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan? Because they are all Targets!


What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.


Why don't kittens like going to the mall?
They prefer a cat-alogue.




More shopping jokes on the following pages...


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No matter where you are, these jokes are guaranteed to brighten your day. Whether you're at a coffee shop, theater, zoo, or even the beach, we have some jokes that are sure to put a smile on your face. So gather your friends and family and get ready for some laughs!