Ballet jokes en pointe for your amusement.

When the ballet's wardrobe was lost, the ballerina was forced to wear a subtitutu.

Q: Why did the ballet dancer stop arguing with her instructor?
A: He had a fair pointe….

So my plumber is doing this Christmas-time ballet....
He's calling it the Buttcracker.

I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.

I once dated twin sisters who were ballet dancers.
Sure they were attractive, but I was drawn more to two tutus.

I watched a video showing the highlights of cattle doing ballet, two things I love.
It was the best of bull twirls.

I thought my ballet-themed body art was unique.
But then I saw someone who had a tutu tattoo, too.

Why is it so easy to talk to ballet dancers?
They always get right to the pointe!

What did the ballet teacher advise Yoda?
Tendu or tendu not, there is no trying.

What happens when a computer is crossed with a ballet dancer?
The Netcracker suite.

Why was the ballet dancer late to class?
Because she wore her leotardy.

What do ballet dancers feel like when they cannot find their shoe?
Looking for it is pointeless.

What do ballet dancers perform when they are overweight?
'Dance of the sugar plump fairy.'

Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks
After three weeks the Syrians meet again at McDonald's the first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practise and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it's Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby Keith and Lynyrd Skynyrd and my favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. Beat that!"

The other Syrian simply replies with: "Get out of my country you fucking towelhead"

He realizes that it's her birthday while driving home from work. Frantically he pulls over at the first toy store he sees and runs inside. He runs up to the clerk and says
"I need a present for my daughter, she likes dolls, do you have any?"
"Sure," the clerk says "we have plenty of barbies. We have Ballet Barbie for 19.95, Veteranarian Barbie for 19.95, Lawyer Barbie for 19.95, and Divorced Barbie for 195.95." The man screams,
"WHAT! Why is divorced Barbie so much more expensive?"
"Well, divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, house, and half of his money.

I saw a ballet themed porn the other day.
It was 'Fucking en Pointe'.

I finally figured out why your sister is not a ballet dancer...
Because every time she does a split, she sticks to the floor.

I used to buy second hand ballet equipment from ebay.
I still do but I used tutu.

My Polish grandmother used to perform for a ballet company...
It was always awkward listening to her Pole Dancing stories.

A friend told me that he stays alert because of his ballet classes. They keep him on his toes.

A ballet dancer friend of mine recently had twins. He’s now a pas de deux.

Local ballet school took part in a charity football match. It ended up 2-2.

A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet. I’m going to see their production of swine lake.

I remain alert by taking Ballet lessons.
.
It keeps me on my toes.

My girlfriend doesn’t believe that I have a favourite Spandau Ballet song, but it's True.

A ballet dancer friend of mine recently had twins. He's now a pas de deux.

A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet. I’m going to see their production of swine lake.