Pop Music Jokes: Turn Up the Laughter.

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang just the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonald's Farm.

Music was better when people who weren’t good looking were also allowed to make it.

I have two questions about this Taylor Swift lady:

What kind of clothes does she make? And how fast does she make them, really?

Why does everyone laugh when I ask who recorded 'Take on me'?

Gloria Gaynor invited 6 people to dinner, but only five turned up.
"Never mind, " she said, "I will serve five."

My wife has new musical obsessions. 50 Cent, Nickelback, Sixpence non the Richer.

I think she's going through the change.

Some grammar tips.
Doesn't = does not.
They're = they are
You're = you are
My fire= the one desire
Believe= when I say
I want it= that way.

if you were a child when Red Red Wine was released...

... UB40ish now

Why is 80's music forgetable?

You'd forget everything too when you're 80.

In Mexico they pronounce Olivia Newton-John Newton-Jaun. In Greece they call her Sandy.

“How’s life?”
So much panic, very little disco.

"It's Raining Men" and "Let the Bodies Hit The Floor" are the same song from different points of view.

I really like the band Depeche Mode.
I just can't get enough.

“Your tits are the best, better than all the chests”

Or whatever Tina Turner said.

Did you hear about the piece of fruit that left it's wallet at a George Michael concert in Zurich?
It was a Careless Swiss Pear.

What does an Icelandic dogs bark sound like?

Björk...

Earth, Wind and Fire were a great band. Funking amazing!!

No safety dance in construction zones. Men must wear hats.

"If the Bare Naked Ladies" and the "Naked Brothers Band" did a concert together, it would be an Exposé.

My wife is slowly getting over her obsession with The New Kids On The Block.
It's a step by step process.

My wife told me to get rid of my Hall & Oates collection.

I told her I can't go for that.

My friends and I are starting a disco group.

We’ll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.

We call ourselves: The Pillage People.

'Why does Beyoncé sing "To the left, to the left"?'
Because women don't have any rights.

Jesus was a Carpenter, but he never actually sang on any of their albums...

I'm just about to take a Facebook questionnaire to help me decide what my favourite Natalie Imbruglia song is.
At the moment i'm Torn.

I went to the counter at McDonalds to tell them there was something wrong with my Big Mac.

Cashier: What seems to be the issue?

I hold up the sandwich and the buns move like lips and sing: ‘Listen to the wind bloooow’

Cashier: Sorry, sir. We accidentally made you a Fleetwood Mac.

I shot the sheriff but I did not kill the radio star.

I play triangle for a reggae band.

Its pretty casual.

I just stand at the back and ting.

Lou Bega has been arrested after human remains were found in a local park.
The Police say they found a little bit of Erica by the Slide.

Twist and Shout is my favorite song about opening a pickle jar.

If Stevie Nicks married Stevie Wonder,
they’d both be…. Stevie Wonder.

If Stevie Nicks married Stevie Wonder,
they’d both be…. Stevie Wonder.

The Jaws theme scares me because I'm afraid I'm going to hear Baby Shark.

I was listening to The News on the radio the other day.
They've completely changed their sound since Huey Lewis left.

Benjamin Button's favourite group is Men 2 Boyz.

I saw someone holding a pair of boots to his ears. Apparently he was listening to sole music.

What adds up when a Swedish singing group swears?
Abba cuss.

What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?

Twerky!

Who was the asshole that re-gifted George Michael's heart?

When the Beach Boys walk into a bar:

"Round?"

"Round!"

"Get a round?"

"I'll get a round!"

Boy Georges reptile bites 5 people in one day

He needs a calmer chameleon.

I liked it better when we got the news from Huey Lewis.

Huge shout out to those that danced near the speakers in the 90s.

Before she became Madonna, she was a pre-Madonna.

Question:
– What is the difference between terrorists and singers in Romania?
Answer:
– Terrorists are known to everyone.

Pop singer Sade sands her wooden tool handles because she likes smooth apparatus.

Michael Jackson Albums....
They're not all Bad.

Remember Red Red Wine?

UB40 ish by now.

I’ve been appointed Gary Barlow’s personal chiropractor on a lifetime contract!
I’ve got his back for good!

I've only just learnt that Phil Collins isn’t his real name.
It’s a Sussudonym.

Boy George has a lizard that bite's everyone that comes to his house.
He need's a calmer chameleon.

If you’re stabbed in a dark alley, sing a Smash Mouth song. You’ll still die, but the attacker will also suffer.

I'm going to an Abba themed poker night. The winner takes it all.

- Quick, for this quiz. Name me any Tina Turner top 10 hit.
- The Best.
- I don’t care how good you think it is. Literally any one will do.

I went to a haunted house that's owned by Don Henley. When I asked if I'd see Casper, he said, "We haven't had that spirit here since 1969."

The only way to get on to the Limp Bizkit website is by Disabling Cookies.

Got a cousin who's so claustrophobic he can't even listen to Crowded House.

- What kind of music is a balloon scared of ?
- Pop music.

Unfortunately my Horse Toto couldn't race today.
I left his reins down in Africa.

I just started taking a Carpenters' class. We haven't made anything yet. We've Only Just Begun.