We've got moves, grooves, and plenty of comedy.
They say dance like nobody is watching, but I dance like somebody is filming a hilarious fail video.
I don't always dance, but when I do, it's usually after a few drinks.
Dancing is just a socially acceptable way to look ridiculous in public.
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2025-05-04.
1. Dance like nobody's watching... because they're too busy laughing at our jokes.
If you can’t dance when you’re drunk at least speak English or promise people jobs.
Don’t waste alcohol.
I just got married but I’m not feeling great about it. For our “first dance” my wife choose the song:…
…”I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”
My Ex wedding will
Be on Sunday
I can't wait to Dance
And kick the cake
By mistake.
One reason Mr. Gore can dance to only one tune is because he moves to his own, algorhythm.
No safety dance in construction zones. Men must wear hats.
2. Step into the fun zone with Dance Jokes.
Instructor: Welcome to salsa class. Now let’s learn how to dance!
Me: (hiding bag of tortilla chips and sneaking out)
I bought my wife a stripper pole for our anniversary and installed it in our bedroom.
Whenever I ask her if she likes it, she just dances around the subject.
Those who can't dance shouldn't.
Those who can, can Can- can.
Q: Why did the ballet dancer stop arguing with her instructor?
A: He had a fair pointe….
I once dated twin sisters who were ballet dancers.
Sure they were attractive, but I was drawn more to two tutus.
3. Warning: excessive giggling may cause spontaneous dancing.
Why is it so easy to talk to ballet dancers?
They always get right to the pointe!
How many dancer teachers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five! Six! Seven! Eight!
What happens when a computer is crossed with a ballet dancer?
The Netcracker suite.
Why was the ballet dancer late to class?
Because she wore her leotardy.
What do ballet dancers feel like when they cannot find their shoe?
Looking for it is pointeless.
4. Dance Jokes: where every joke has rhythm.
What do ballet dancers perform when they are overweight?
'Dance of the sugar plump fairy.'
I finally figured out why your sister is not a ballet dancer...
Because every time she does a split, she sticks to the floor.
A ballet dancer friend of mine recently had twins. He’s now a pas de deux.
How did dancers in the 70s stay on their feet at a disco?
With the grooves in their sole!
At a Down Syndrome disco...
...Do you think they have a slow dance?
5. Where Dancing Skills Go to Die (of Laughter).
I ran into a dance club for people with back problems.
It was called the Slipped Disco.
Why did the police officer arrest the disco dancer?
Because he was killing the dance floor.
I walked into a disco, and there were Orcs, Trolls, and Nazgûl doing their best moves.
It was Mordor on the dance floor.
What's the difference between someone out in the sun all day and a large-haired disco dancer with colorful perspiration?
One sweats profusely and the other fro-sweats pucely.
Went to a disco for the blind.
I danced like nobody was watching.
6. Where Rhythm Meets Ridiculousness – Dance Jokes Galore.
I wanted to learn to dance so I started with salsa. I wanted something I could dip in to.
Social networking is like a club. Twitter is the dance floor, Tumblr is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the toilets.
Why did the ants dance on the jam jar lid? It said twist to open.
How does a flamenco dancer catch lots of fish.
She castanets.
'm just pondering: Does NASA teach all the astronauts the moon walk dance?
7. Redefining Dance Fails with a Side of Humor.
My High School reunion is coming up so I only have a few days to learn how to dance, have kids and get rich.
Why aren't dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet!
Huge shout out to those that danced near the speakers in the 90s.
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I'd so tap that."
I tried to teach my dog to dance, but he just doesn’t get it. Honestly, he acts like he has two left feet!
8. Dance Jokes: We'll Have You Dancing in Stitches (and Making Stitches While Dancing).
Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom.
Me on security.
"There's a member of staff dancing naked in the canteen."
Control Room, "Copy that."
Me, "I'll try but I'm not much of a dancer."
I grew up with 6 sisters. That's how I learned to dance...waiting for the bathroom.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dancefloor have in common?
No ballroom.
Shag" is a funny word isn’t it?
To a smoker it’s tobacco, to an American it’s a dance, to an ornithologist it’s a bird and to me it’s a remote possibility.