Games Jokes: Unleash Your Inner Gamer's Sense of Humor.

Never play darts with children. Their heads just bounce off the board.

For sale.
Harry Potter ball games.
A quid each.

Your love life is like Sudoku. Very complicated, with no hope of solving it.

Why should you get a gamer girl gf?

She can bring joy to your stick.

John has taken up model railroads as a hobby.

His wife hopes he doesn’t go off the rails with it.

Playing Scrabble earlier I managed to put down "anal" on a triple word score .
It's still not many points, but it's more about the satisfaction of having anal on the dining room table.

My love life is like a game of minesweeper

I ignore a bunch of red flags and it always blows up in my face.

"Did you know Mortal Kombat is based on an old Scandinavian church song?

It’s a Finnish hymn."

Me go to Gamblers Anonymous? No dice.

The girlfriend asked me what I was doing on the computer.
I said "looking for cheap flights."

She got very exited and said "I love you," then got on her knees and

gave me the best blow job I've ever had.

Which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before.

I heard that Mike Tyson likes play station. I'm surprised, I always thought of him as an xboxer.

My kids were throwing Scrabble tiles at eachother last night,
I shouted " it's all fun and games until someone loses an i."

I wrote ‘DIVORCE’, my wife wrote ‘YES’.

Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble.

My son went against my wishes and got a tattoo of a deck of cards.
I'll deal with him later.

Q: Why doesn't Captain Hook play poker?
A: He can't afford to lose another hand.

It's called the Lotto because when you win you get a lotto money.

Why doesn't Captain Hook play poker? He can't afford another losing hand.

Me, myself and I are looking for a fourth person to play cards with...

Only serious candidates please.

Did you know Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?

a Finish hymn...

"Jimmy, why are you walking around the backyard without any clothing on?"
Jimmy replied, "I lost at strip poker and that's the naked truth."

What’s a bed’s favorite game?
Hide and sheet.

When it comes to board games about buying real estate…
Hasbro truly has the Monopoly.

Premature ejaculation is pretty similar to hide-and-go-seek.
Whether they're ready or not, you're still gonna come.

Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla.

What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box.

The game monopoly is fin, but has some major out of date stuff.
There’s free parking, a luxury tax, you can actually afford to pay rent, and rich people can actually go to jail.

The president of the Scrabble club got married. It was arranged.

Some gambling advice…. never let cows play cards. They tend to leave their chips on the table.

My mate's gambling is getting out of hand.
He's just bet his newborn son in our game of poker.
I thought I might have to raise him.

A good man is hard to find, which is why I always dress as Gandhi to play hide-and-seek.

I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday. I don’t know what to make of it.

Pac-Man gave me very unrealistic expectations about my ability to run away from ghosts.

Why are people who do origami bad at poker?
They just fold all the time...

The sailors couldn't play cards.
The Captain was sitting on deck.

I think its wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I saw a guy drop his scrabble letters in a road. I asked him: What’s the word on the street?

Watch them play Tetris before you marry them so you know how epic the battles to avoid taking the trash out will be.

My ex started a rumour that I don’t know how to play solitaire. Two can play at that game.

Scrabble? I hate that game so much....... I can't put it into words

My wife just rang me this morning. She said,
"Two packages arrived today. The first was your Playstation 5 and the second is the new Rampant Rabbit vibrator we ordered. I can't wait for you to get home and play with me for hours."
I said, "You'll be fucking lucky... I only ordered one controller."

Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better... If every fifth caller was a winner.

I gave my son six pieces of cardboard last Christmas.
He asked ‘What’s this?’
I replied ‘It’s an ex box!

I love playing with marbles and dice. It's just the way I roll.

While gaming last night, I was called a loser due to still having my default skin
But when I showed up to school, the next day, wearing a new skin, I’m a psychopath.

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much.
What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Saw a new gaming table in the casino, it was just perfect. Pair-a-dice.

My son got tattoos of a heart, a spade, a club and a diamond, against my wishes.
I'll deal with him later.

I saw two policemen chasing a person who has just stolen a board game of little value.
It was a really trivial pursuit.

When my wife woke up this morning she asked me what I was doing on the laptop
I told her I was looking for cheap flights
She gave me a kiss and cooked bacon & eggs for breakfast
I thought that was unusual as she's never shown any interest in me playing darts before

If you die and get cremated, you can be put into an hourglass and still be included in family games night.

I don't know who needs to know this but there is a play in chess called the "Bob Seger"...
...that's when the knight moves.

One thing I can’t deal with..
..is a deck of cards glued together.

What is a musician’s favorite childhood game?
Haydn seek!

I almost got shanked in jail last night.
My family takes Monopoly very seriously.

Did you know Mortal Kombat was based on an old Scandinavian folk song?
It was a Finish Hymn.

I’m delighted to say I’m the new chairman of the British Card Games Society after a snap election.

What do gamblers call a craps table?
Pair o' dice.

Why doesn’t Mike Tyson use a PlayStation? Because he’s an X-Boxer.

I ran out of poker chips so used dry fruits for playing instead.

People went nuts when they saw me raisin the stakes.

I always find completed jigsaws to be quite relaxing. Very piece-full.

What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of an airplane?
Meeeeeeee!!!!

I tried to carry my oversized board game onto the plane, but I wasn’t allowed.

They said the Risk was too big.

Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

A: Knead for Speed.

What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans!

Why is a orphan favorite game monopoly?
Because it can actually buy a house.

“Wanna play the rape game?”

“No!!!”

“That’s the spirit!”

What is a tornado favorite game?

Twister!

What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?

Salmon Says!

Did you hear the score in the Eqypt vs Ethiopia football game? Eqypt 8, Ethiopia didn’t.

Let’s take a look at the Swedish bench for today’s game. 12.99 from Ikea.

Why are cats good at video games ?
Because they have nine lives !

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex… I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

What’s a suicidal person’s favorite game? Hangman.

Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.

Why did the police go to a baseball game?
Because a player stole the base.

What game does an emo hate the most?

Cut the Rope.

A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time?" The woman replies “It’s been a while since a man has asked me that.”

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, the get busted.