Random breakfast joke:
An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume.
"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm, "That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your breath and another woman's perfume all over you."
"There is," he said. "I'd like breakfast."
Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2026-08-16.
Selected breakfast jokes:
An Irish couple, an English couple and a Scottish couple are having breakfast together in a hotel..
The English husband says "could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" to his wife.
The Scot follows suit, says to his wife "could you pass me the honey, honey?"
The Irishman then turns to his wife and says "could you pass me the milk you fucking cow?"
Welcome to parenthood, your kid will now sing songs like "poop there it is" while eating breakfast.
I told my friend I’d buy him a full English breakfast as long as he kept his hands out of his trousers. He didn’t touch his sausage.
My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning.
I was eating breakfast.
More breakfast jokes...
What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
A bowl of surreal. 🎨🖌🖼
“A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”