Random breakfast joke:
When my wife woke up this morning she asked me what I was doing on the laptop
I told her I was looking for cheap flights
She gave me a kiss and cooked bacon & eggs for breakfast
I thought that was unusual as she's never shown any interest in me playing darts before

Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2026-03-06.
Selected breakfast jokes:
I wanted to make a chicken omelette for breakfast, but I couldn’t remember which ingredient came first…
When my wife woke up this morning she asked me what I was doing on the laptop
I told her I was looking for cheap flights
She gave me a kiss and cooked bacon & eggs for breakfast
I thought that was unusual as she's never shown any interest in me playing darts before
Just watched the director's cut of a Rowan Atkinson spy film whilst eating breakfast. It was the full English.
Back in Soviet Russia, little Misha is being read to by his babysitter. She reads: 'In the USSR, kindegardens are filled with wonderful toys.'
Misha listens with bright eyes.
'In the USSR, every child has a brand new bicycle.'
Little Misha opens his eyes even wider.
'In the USSR, every child drinks hot cocoa for breakfast.'
Little Misha starts crying his eyes out, bawling:
'I want to go to the USSR!'
More breakfast jokes...
What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
A bowl of surreal. 🎨🖌🖼
“A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”