Random breakfast joke:
I masturbated so good last night….when I woke up my clit was in the kitchen cookin breakfast.
Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2026-10-07.
Selected breakfast jokes:
"There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.”
- Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions
Apparently, making someone breakfast in bed is only romantic when they know who you are.
During breakfast my wife told me that she's leaving me because of my obsession with Twitter.
I nearly choked on my #brown.
What do iPhones eat for breakfast?
Siri-al.
More breakfast jokes...
What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
A bowl of surreal. 🎨🖌🖼
“A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”