Random breakfast joke:
"There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.”
- Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions
Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2026-03-13.
Selected breakfast jokes:
Back in Soviet Russia, little Misha is being read to by his babysitter. She reads: 'In the USSR, kindegardens are filled with wonderful toys.'
Misha listens with bright eyes.
'In the USSR, every child has a brand new bicycle.'
Little Misha opens his eyes even wider.
'In the USSR, every child drinks hot cocoa for breakfast.'
Little Misha starts crying his eyes out, bawling:
'I want to go to the USSR!'
Went into the kitchen this morning, the wife was face-down and not breathing. I panicked and didn't know what to do...
Then I remembered that McDonald's do breakfast until 10.30!
Two elderly gentlemen, Sam and Harry, were having breakfast. Sam said to Harry, "Harry, why do you have a suppository in your ear?" Harry took the suppository out, looked it over and said, "Sam, I'm really glad you saw this thing, now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
I masturbated so good last night….when I woke up my clit was in the kitchen cookin breakfast.
More breakfast jokes...
What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
A bowl of surreal. 🎨🖌🖼
“A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”