Random breakfast joke:
Up at 5am, 8km run completed, got home, prepared a vegetable smoothie for breakfast...
Don't remember the rest of the dream...
Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2026-03-29.
Selected breakfast jokes:
An Irish couple, an English couple and a Scottish couple are having breakfast together in a hotel..
The English husband says "could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" to his wife.
The Scot follows suit, says to his wife "could you pass me the honey, honey?"
The Irishman then turns to his wife and says "could you pass me the milk you fucking cow?"
Went into the kitchen this morning, the wife was face-down and not breathing. I panicked and didn't know what to do...
Then I remembered that McDonald's do breakfast until 10.30!
I masturbated so good last night that when i woke up my clit was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.
Back in Soviet Russia, little Misha is being read to by his babysitter. She reads: 'In the USSR, kindegardens are filled with wonderful toys.'
Misha listens with bright eyes.
'In the USSR, every child has a brand new bicycle.'
Little Misha opens his eyes even wider.
'In the USSR, every child drinks hot cocoa for breakfast.'
Little Misha starts crying his eyes out, bawling:
'I want to go to the USSR!'
More breakfast jokes...
What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
A bowl of surreal. 🎨🖌🖼
“A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”