Random breakfast joke:
I was having breakfast in a cafe this morning and two waitresses had a massive row over how long to leave a teabag in the cup and it got so bad it ended up in violence.
I asked the manager what had happened and he told me it had been brewing for ages.
Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2026-06-25.
Selected breakfast jokes:
"There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.”
- Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions
I'm having frozen eggs for breakfast. They’re hard to beat.
Just watched the director's cut of a Rowan Atkinson spy film whilst eating breakfast. It was the full English.
Went into the kitchen this morning, the wife was face-down and not breathing. I panicked and didn't know what to do...
Then I remembered that McDonald's do breakfast until 10.30!
More breakfast jokes...
What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
A bowl of surreal. 🎨🖌🖼
“A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”