Random breakfast joke:
"There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.”
- Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions
Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2026-04-06.
Selected breakfast jokes:
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
I masturbated so good last night that when i woke up my clit was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.
Just watched the director's cut of a Rowan Atkinson spy film whilst eating breakfast. It was the full English.
Went into the kitchen this morning, the wife was face-down and not breathing. I panicked and didn't know what to do...
Then I remembered that McDonald's do breakfast until 10.30!
More breakfast jokes...
What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
A bowl of surreal. 🎨🖌🖼
“A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”