Random breakfast joke:
When my wife woke up this morning she asked me what I was doing on the laptop
I told her I was looking for cheap flights
She gave me a kiss and cooked bacon & eggs for breakfast
I thought that was unusual as she's never shown any interest in me playing darts before
Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2026-03-08.
Selected breakfast jokes:
My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning.
I was eating breakfast.
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
French people are so hardcore they eat pain for breakfast.
An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume.
"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm, "That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your breath and another woman's perfume all over you."
"There is," he said. "I'd like breakfast."
More breakfast jokes...
What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
A bowl of surreal. 🎨🖌🖼
“A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”