Hilarious jokes about TEA that will make your day !

Why did Karl Marx like herbal tea. Because proper tea is theft.

Is the female version of tea bagging called flappuccino???

Advice please: is it okay to ask my wife what time tea is ready,
Or should I wait until she's finished cleaning the car ?

Never accept tea offered by the Russian President.
You don't know what Vladimir Putin.

How does Ace Ventura respond to people who don't like coffee?

All right, tea then!

When a fly falls into a cup of coffee:

The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.

The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it, and makes a new cup of coffee.

The Frenchman - takes out the fly and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian - drinks the coffee with the fly, since it comes with no extra charge.

The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, drinks a cup of tea, and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling into his coffee, protests the act to the UN as an act of aggression, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives, and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, Frenchman, Chinese, German and Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give his cup of tea to the Palestinian.

Every time you forget about a cup of tea a small part of the universe dies forever.

The coffee shop worker was fired from his job for wearing a Tea Shirt.

Is the female version of tea bagging called flappuccino???

I was fired from my job at the tea factory. They said I was taking too many leaves.

Capitalism, Communism, and Socialism have a meeting for afternoon tea.
Communism collapses on the way there and dies from malnutrition. Socialism is so late from collecting welfare to buy the tea that he decides to go home. However, Capitalism - seeing that neither of the two showed up - buys his own tea, finishes his lunch break, and goes back to work.

Im about to have a cup of dangerous coffee.
Safe tea first though.

When you're not their cup of tea but you see them drinking all the other teas.

Today accidentally I put a tea bag and a spoon full of coffee into the same cup .
Ended up with Toffee.

Q: What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
A: I don't know, I wasn't invited!

Please remember that for every Rich Tea biscuit, there are thousands of Tea biscuits living in abject poverty....

Advice please: is it okay to ask my wife what time tea is ready,
Or should I wait until she's finished cleaning the car ?

Before I have a dangerous coffee, I like to have safe tea first.

Q: What should you wear to a tea party?
A: A t-shirt.

If coffee and tea get married
And the tea leaves
Does coffee have grounds for divorce?

I spoke to my dentist about how I get pains every time I drink coffee or tea. He asked ‘how long has this been going on for?’ I said, ‘I have been drinking tea and coffee for many years.’

Is a passion for tea called 'infusiasm'?

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality!

For every rich tea biscuit in our world, there are hundreds of ordinary biscuits living in poverty.

We've missed our favorite tea at the Chinese restaurant where we often dine, but we've been getting oolong.

Never accept tea offered by the Russian President.
You don't know what Vladimir Putin.

BREAKING NEWS!
An earthquake has hit near a biscuit factory in the North of England last night.
It measured 2.8 on the Rich Tea scale...

I hate it when you ask someone if they want sugar in their tea and they say "No. I'm sweet enough,"
and instead of laughing along with them you kill them.

I drank tea before it was cool.
...mostly cuz I dont like cold tea...

Why did Karl Marx like herbal tea. Because proper tea is theft.

What kind of tea do astronauts not drink in space? Gravi-Tea!

Four strangers have to share a room. But they get acquainted with each other, one of them cracks open a bottle of vodka and they start drinking and telling stories. One of them wants to sleep, but the others don't care about him and keep telling more and more raunchy stories and political jokes. So he gets an idea.

He goes down to the receptionist and asks the concierge to bring up tea for the four people in 15 minutes. He returns to his room, goes over to the lamp in the corner and says quite loudly "Comrade Major, could we please have some tea?" A few minutes later a knock on the door, the concierge comes with the tea and very rapidly the room goes quiet, and the man can finally get some sleep.

The next day, as he wakes up, nobody is in the room anymore. He goes down, asks where they went and gets the all-telling answer "You don't want to know"

"But ... but what about me?"

"Oh", the concierge says, "Comrade Major liked your tea prank a lot!"

I’m about to have a dangerous cup of coffee…
Safe tea first, though.

The girlfriend says I’m tight, so to prove her wrong we went out for some tea and biscuits.

It was quite exciting as she’s never given blood before.

Q: What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
A: I don't know, I wasn't invited!

Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.

I was gunna buy some tea off Amazon... but the price was too steep...