Chess Jokes: Unleash Your Inner Comedian on the Chessboard.

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate."
~ Isaac Asimov

This morning I coughed up a pawn, a knight and a bishop.

I must have a chess infection.

I met my wife at a local chess tournament.

She made the first move.

I was really excited when I picked up a book titled “ 69 Mating positions ”.
Turns out it was about chess.

The chess player was not to be trusted. He had a checkered past.

Just curious, can you buy a whole chess set at a pawn shop?

What do you call chess players bragging in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

I work as a chess piece manufacturer, this week I'm on nights.

I don't know who needs to know this but there is a play in chess called the "Bob Seger"...
...that's when the knight moves.

I went to the doctors yesterday and told him that everytime I cough I hear words like Knight Bishop pawn and queen .
He said I had a chess infection.

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop? I did it the other knight...And I got rooked.

I love playing chess at the park with old men.
The hard part is finding 32 of them.

I went to the doctors yesterday and told him that every time I cough, I hear words like knight, bishop, pawn and queen .
He said I had a chess infection.

My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess.

How is a chess player like an Australian who's about to leave a restaurant?
They're both looking for a checkmate.

Life is like chess.
You can never find a mate.

My missus came home with a Monopoly board under one arm and a Cluedo under the other arm. Her feet were stuck to a Trivial Pursuit and a Chess board. I said to her "Are you on the game?"

Saw an owl having a game of chess with a bird with a big beak. I thought “toucan play that game.”

I had to leave the hotel earlier when two grand masters arrived and started talking about their best tournaments. I can’t stand chess nut boasting in an open foyer.

I like to play chess with old bald men in the park.
But it’s kind of hard to find 32 of them.

A Guy picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions.
It turns out to be a book on chess!

I was playing chess with my friend and he said "let's make this interesting" So we stopped playing chess.

I went on a date with a chess player to an Italian restaurant with checkered table cloths. It took him maybe half an hour to pass the salt.

I was really excited when my wife bought me a book for my birthday called “69 Mating Positions”.

Turns out it’s about Chess strategies.

Men and Women compete separately in Chess championships.
It means one gender is definitely dumber than the other.

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

I lost a £20 bet with friend at a game of chess.
I asked him how he wanted paying, he said “cheque mate”.

I saw a pigeon having a game
Of chess with a bird with a big beak. I thought “toucan play at that game.

Great news..
I've just got a job at the chess factory, bad news is I'm on knights next week.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."
So we stopped playing chess.