Random Confucius joke:
Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef.

Selected Confucius jokes:
Confucius say...He who jumps out of airplane without parachute, is jumping to conclusion.
Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand.
Confucius say, secretary become permanent fixture, when screwed on desk.
Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people.
More Confucius jokes...
Confucius say, squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts.
Confucius say, to meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better.
Confucius say, man who fishes in another woman's well, often catches crab.
Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand.
Confucius say, man who run through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Confucius say, man who put pea in soup very unclean.
Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people.
Confucius say, man who sleep in bed of nails is holy.
Confucius say, man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts.
Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet high on pot.
Confucius say, man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.
Confucius say, sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel.
Confucius say, man who make love on side of hill not on level.
Confucius say, man with tool in woman's mouth not necessarily dentist.
Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted.
Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired.
Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Confucius say, woman who go camping must beware of evil intent.
Confucius say, couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week.
Confucius say, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long.
Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Confucius say, if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.
Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it.
Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
Confucius say, woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left.
Confucius say, panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Confucius say, gypsies got no babies because gypsies have crystal balls.
Confucius say, man who do business in whore house get jerked around.
Confucius say, bird in the hand is not better than two in the bush.
Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone.