Random dance joke:

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar lid? It said twist to open.

DANCE jokes collection.

Selected dance jokes:

Why aren't dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!

1~ We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.
2~ We believe that dancing with our arms overhead,wiggling our butt while yelling woohoo! is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3~ In our last trip to pee,we realize that we now look like a homeless hooker then the goddess we were just 4 hours ago.
4~We start crying and telling everyone we see-that we love them so much.
5~ We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "oh my god! I love that song!"
6~ We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.
7~ We yell at the bartender who we believe cheated us by giving us just juice.But that's because we can no longer taste the alcohol.
8~ We think we are in bed. But our pillow feels strangely like the bathroom floor or toilet or kitchen floor or mop.
9~ We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it.
10~ We take off our shoes because we believe it's their fault that were having issues walking straight.

I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 30 seconds...

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

More dance jokes...

Expect nothing and you will receive it in abundance.

I just got married but I’m not feeling great about it. For our “first dance” my wife choose the song:…

…”I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.
Drive like no one knows you have
a corpse in the trunk.

Why did the two orange traffic guidance devices fall in love?

<They felt a deep cone-ection.>

My Ex wedding will
Be on Sunday
I can't wait to Dance
And kick the cake
By mistake.

One reason Mr. Gore can dance to only one tune is because he moves to his own, algorhythm.

No safety dance in construction zones. Men must wear hats.

Instructor: Welcome to salsa class. Now let’s learn how to dance!

Me: (hiding bag of tortilla chips and sneaking out)

I bought my wife a stripper pole for our anniversary and installed it in our bedroom.
Whenever I ask her if she likes it, she just dances around the subject.

“Chemical engineers build the rocket fuel. Electrical engineers build the guidance system. Nuclear engineers build the payload. Environmental engineers clean it up.”

Those who can't dance shouldn't.
Those who can, can Can- can.

Laws of Procrastination:

Procrastination shortens the job and places the responsibility for its termination on someone else (the authority who imposed the deadline).
It reduces anxiety by reducing the expected quality of the project from the best of all possible efforts to the best that can be expected given the limited time.
Status is gained in the eyes of others, and in one's own eyes, because it is assumed that the importance of the work justifies the stress.
Avoidance of interruptions including the assignment of other duties can be achieved, so that the obviously stressed worker can concentrate on the single effort.
Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that there is nothing important to do.
It may eliminate the job if the need passes before the job can be done.

Kirkland's Law: The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.

Gray's Law of Bilateral Asymmetry in Networks: Information flows efficiently through organizations, except that bad news encounters high impedance in flowing upward.

Ashley-Perry Statistical Axioms:

Numbers are tools, not rules.
Numbers are symbols for things; the number and the thing are not the same.
Skill in manipulating numbers is a talent, not evidence of divine guidance.
Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.
The product of an arithmetical computation is the answer to an equation; it is not the solution to a problem.

Q: Why did the ballet dancer stop arguing with her instructor?
A: He had a fair pointe….

I once dated twin sisters who were ballet dancers.
Sure they were attractive, but I was drawn more to two tutus.

Why is it so easy to talk to ballet dancers?
They always get right to the pointe!

How many dancer teachers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five! Six! Seven! Eight!

What happens when a computer is crossed with a ballet dancer?
The Netcracker suite.

Why was the ballet dancer late to class?
Because she wore her leotardy.

What do ballet dancers feel like when they cannot find their shoe?
Looking for it is pointeless.

What do ballet dancers perform when they are overweight?
'Dance of the sugar plump fairy.'

I finally figured out why your sister is not a ballet dancer...
Because every time she does a split, she sticks to the floor.

A ballet dancer friend of mine recently had twins. He’s now a pas de deux.

How did dancers in the 70s stay on their feet at a disco?
With the grooves in their sole!

At a Down Syndrome disco...
...Do you think they have a slow dance?

I ran into a dance club for people with back problems.
It was called the Slipped Disco.

Why did the police officer arrest the disco dancer?
Because he was killing the dance floor.

I walked into a disco, and there were Orcs, Trolls, and Nazgûl doing their best moves.
It was Mordor on the dance floor.

What's the difference between someone out in the sun all day and a large-haired disco dancer with colorful perspiration?
One sweats profusely and the other fro-sweats pucely.

Went to a disco for the blind.
I danced like nobody was watching.

I wanted to learn to dance so I started with salsa. I wanted something I could dip in to.

I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 30 seconds...

Social networking is like a club. Twitter is the dance floor, Tumblr is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the toilets.

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar lid? It said twist to open.

How does a flamenco dancer catch lots of fish.

She castanets.

'm just pondering: Does NASA teach all the astronauts the moon walk dance?

Dance like nobody’s watching .
Sing like nobody’s listening.
Tweet like nobody gives a fuck.

My High School reunion is coming up so I only have a few days to learn how to dance, have kids and get rich.

Why aren't dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet!

Huge shout out to those that danced near the speakers in the 90s.

I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I'd so tap that."

I tried to teach my dog to dance, but he just doesn’t get it. Honestly, he acts like he has two left feet!

Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom.

Me on security.

"There's a member of staff dancing naked in the canteen."

Control Room, "Copy that."

Me, "I'll try but I'm not much of a dancer."

I grew up with 6 sisters. That's how I learned to dance...waiting for the bathroom.

What do a small pair of underpants and a small dancefloor have in common?
No ballroom.

Shag" is a funny word isn’t it?
To a smoker it’s tobacco, to an American it’s a dance, to an ornithologist it’s a bird and to me it’s a remote possibility.

John was at a party, sitting alone. There were a lot of people, but his eyes were fixed on a particular girl. She was absolutely stunning, dancing freely, laughing and chatting with others.

Suddenly, the girl turned her head towards John, and a smile appeared on her lips. As she started to walk towards John, his heart started beating faster.

The girl was now in front of John, and with the sweetest voice ever, she asked, "Do you wanna' dance?"

John was speechless, he couldn't believe his ears. He somehow managed to say, "Y...ya"

"Well then get out of that chair, I need to sit down"

More dance jokes on the following pages...