Hilarious Jokes about food, cooking, snacks, drinks and diet !

Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M's because let's be honest here.

When chickens taste strange meat they've never eaten before, do they think it tastes like people...?

People who don't eat gluten are really going against the grain.

I'm experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep EVERYONE away, whatever their profession.

My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.

I don't like French pancakes. They give me the crepes.

I was eating some alphabeti spaghetti on a yacht and discovered the seven Cs.

Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.

The only thing I take seriously in the newspapers at the moment is fish n chips.
And I even take that with a pinch of salt!

Every bag of chips is family sized...if you’re an orphan.

I have been looking into the history of Sausages and keep finding missing links.

Milk is good.
But it could be butter.

What did the tightrope walker eat for breakfast?
A balanced meal!

I asked the Chef is many people order raw steak and he said Yes, but its very rare....

My obsession with caramel pudding is why I named my son Flan...and probably why I lost custardy.

You may not have heard the rumour about butter...but I'm going to start spreading it.

What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships.

Warning: do not accept a friend request from hormel foods...it could be spam.

I ate a frozen apple.

Hard core.

Why are pancakes careful about who they hang out with? Because the other guys can be real crepes

What is the opposite of a croissant

A Happy Uncle.

Sad news, the Italian chef pasta way.😢

Not many ladies at the German food market this morning.
It was a real Sausage fest.

I want to talk about hot dogs. It's time for a frank conversation.

The whole salad dressing industry exists because people really just don’t like the taste of salad.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice crispies....

Lactose intolerant people blame udders for their problem.

Me: Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Her: No
Me: Well I'm not going to spread it.

Yesterday I was feeling a little cheesy, today Im feeling gouda.

Had a rabbit stew. I didn't complain about the hare in my soup.

I came home drunk last night and didn't want to wake anyone up so I just stuck two French pancakes to my feet and crêped up the stairs!

Yesterday I gave some of my food to a beggar,
Today he gave me a book called 'how to cook'.

A Macaroni, a Penne and a Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening.

They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them.

They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.

Not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you. I just had a really tasty leg of salmon and feel fine.

me: i just opened a steak restaurant

friend: well done

me: yah that’s one of the options

What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Don't you wok away from me.

I made a chicken salad today.

That ungrateful bird didn't even eat it!

I bet it was tricky for the person who discovered milk to explain what they were doing to the cow.

Cheese is just a loaf of milk.

What do we want?

A cure for obesity !

When do we want it ?

After lunch ....!

You are what u eat

i don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

When I was little, my mum used to always give me alphabetti spaghetti for my lunch..

She insisted that I told everyone that I really loved it.

I didn't ... she was just putting words in my mouth.

Dieting can be hard,
But not dieting is a piece of cake.

Saw an almond in space once. Think it was an astronut.

"Muffins" backwards describes what you do when you take them out of the oven.

I've been a fan of Gazpacho soup since before it was cool.

"I'm great in bed" -Breakfast

"What is a sea monster's favourite snack? Ships and dip."

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where's popcorn?

People who don't eat gluten are really going against the grain.

I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get dough nuts.

Which day do potatoes hate?
Fry-day!

A lot of people think that crop circles are caused by aliens spacecraft, but I think they are done by cereal killers.

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.

To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.