Best jokes about dating !

I just found out I was dating a communist. I should have noticed the red flags sooner.

Date: You told me you were interesting?
Me: I told you I was into resting!

I’m dating a gymnast.
She’s head over heels.

The guy I am dating has a phobia of people that randomly include clothes in sentences.
But overall, this shouldn't be an issue.

Dating is often like boxing...
You have to go for your weight class.

Why are racecar drivers the best people to go to for dating advice?
They're trained to look for red flags.

I started dating a stripper
I've been seeing a lot of her lately.

My daughter is now dating a bipolar adventurer
He really did visit both the North and the South poles, quite the guy!

What do you call it when meeting up with people from dating apps?
Playing with matches.

An engineer has trouble dating and seeks advice from his friend:
Friend: Just go to a bar and meet girls, its a no pressure environment.

Engineer: I don't know, one bar seems like way too much pressure for me. Can I go to a pascal instead?

Why did the shark quit dating ?
Even though there are still many fish in the sea, he was netted into a relationship and got catfished.

Dating for men is like fishing.
There’s plenty of fish but until you catch one you’re stuck holding your rod.

I made a dating profile on Farmers Only
Because when it comes to women, I know how to a-tractor.

Dating these days as a Karen is hard, all of my dates act like teenagers.
What I is need is a MANager!

I've started dating Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother.
She's an animal in bed.

What do you call a dating app for sailors?
Dick Dock.

I've joined an online dating agency for arsonists.
They send me new matches every week.

Guys, I'm dating a lady firefighter tonight!
You think she might put out?

The guy I am dating has a phobia of people that randomly include clothes in sentences.
But overall, this shouldn't be an issue.

Bald Dating is a dating app for bald people that's completely free...
You don't have toupee.

I was dating an Optometrist, but finally needed to break up with her
She was sexy and had a great personality, but after a while she was just too annoying in bed.

She was always saying, "So, do you like it better like this?... or like this?"

I once tried speed dating...
Turns out she wasn’t as into stimulants as I was...

Want to know the worst part about online dating as an ugly guy?
Fucking nothing.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house.