Random shopping joke:
They say don’t go grocery shopping while you’re hungry.
But it’s been a week and I just keep getting hungrier.
Selected shopping jokes:
I always see more people walking into Walmart than out of Walmart... but the meat is cheap so I don't ask questions.
The guy couldn't find anything to buy in the adult toy store no matter how hard he shopped.
I used to go into shopping centres and rotate the body parts of the mannequins…I don’t think everyone noticed, but I certainly turned a few heads.
Behind every carefully written grocery list is a confused husband.
More shopping jokes...
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get the open a shop on it!
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day, tell you what, they saw me coming.
Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
Ones made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
Bought a new vacuum on Black Friday.
It sucks!
I used to go into shopping centres and rotate the body parts of the mannequins…I don’t think everyone noticed, but I certainly turned a few heads.
Never do bedroom shopping while drunk
It can lead to one nightstand.
Customer: May I try on that dress in the window, please?
Clerk: No, ma’am. You’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.
They say don’t go grocery shopping while you’re hungry.
But it’s been a week and I just keep getting hungrier.
I saw a man with one arm shopping at a second hand store.
I told him “you’re not going to find what you’re looking for.”
Black Friday is a scam. You should be mad they overcharge you 364 days a year.
Gap has announced plans to open its first retail stores in India and China. Tags on clothes and stickers on items will read, "Made Here."
What does a ghost do when he's hungry?
Go ghost-ry shopping.
Where do dogs go after their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
Why did Michael Jackson go shopping at the mall?
He heard boys underwear was half off.
What do you call a mall security guard with a military background?
A Navy Wet Seal.
What was the horse looking for at the mall? A Macintosh.
What happens when a judge gets something to eat at the mall?
He places an "Order in the food court".
Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan? Because they are all Targets!
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Why don't kittens like going to the mall?
They prefer a cat-alogue.