Get ready to embark on a comedic adventure of movie jokes.
The most unrealistic part of action movies? The fact that the hero never needs to use the bathroom during their epic quest to save the world.
Movie jokes: where the only thing more predictable than the punchline is the disappointment of expecting something original.
I'm in a musical about the Titanic.
I think it will go down well.
My brother just got a Star wars tattoo on his cheek.
You should see the Luke on his face.
I always name my vehicles, and have just bought the car from Back to the Future.
Shall I call it Del or Ian?
Tried to book tickets for Oppenheimer but it's fully booked all week.
They must be making a bomb.
Plays and movies about female rulers have featured a lot of drama queens.
From the beginning, Rapunzel never wanted a man to climb her tower to save her.
She was just kinky and wanted someone to pull on her hair.
The naughty Smurf pulls down his pants in public once in a blue moon.
Based on the number of movies, the missions actually don’t seem to be that impossible.
Me "can we do the Princess Leia gold bikini roll play?"
Wife *sigh* "on one condition"
Me "anything"
Wife "I'm wearing the bikini this time."
"What a lovely pair of Blue Tits" said one Bird Watcher to the other
"Will you please shut up!" shouted everyone else at the Avatar 2 screening.
You know its bad when you feel like your life is being directed by Quentin Tarantino.
What does 007’s doorbell sounds like?
Dong. Ding Dong.
Which superhero won't stop thinking?
Wonder woman.
Whats the difference between a porn flick and a Hollywood movie?
They only show the gag reel at the end of the Hollywood movie.
Good news...I just landed a role in a movie. Bad news...It’s a porn movie and I’m the husband going to work.
Oh look, another movie where the hero saves the day and gets the girl. How refreshing.
Have you heard about the new film about a pig with no eyes.
it’s rated PG.
My wife keeps having disturbed dreams, shouting things like Hobbit!, Gandalf!, and Mordor!. Always Tolkien in her sleep...
So what's a pig's favorite sit-com? Swine-feld!!
Whats the difference between Game of Thrones and a porno?
At the end of the porno everyone was satisfied.
Saw a fantastic film about a very
large insect.
It was XL ant.
Wonder Woman broke up with the Invisible Man. She made it perfectly clear she never wanted to see him again!
Where were you when the Titanic was going down?
I was in the back row eating popcorn.
What do you call compilations on loud cartoons?
Volumes.
What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bi sexual Hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?
A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie watching sci-fi on wifi.
I saw Gone with the Wind and the ending just blew me away.
Person: Did you see Top Gun with Tom Cruise?
Me: He was busy that day. I saw it with somebody else.
Did you know how much cocaine
Charlie Sheen used?
It was enough to kill Two and a Half Men!
A documentary made by the Flat Earth society has been nominated for a Golden Globe.
Just saw a movie about cemeteries.
It wasn’t very good .
Too many plot holes.
They've done like 8 movies, so the missions can't be that impossible.
If box office flops were Olympic sports, Hollywood would have more gold medals than any other industry.
When Thor decided to leave the Avengers, he turned to real estate.
He’s going to be a real-thor.
Which Star Wars character would make the best realtor?
Lando Calrissian.
Hugo asked me if I’d seen the movie ‘Tractor’. I replied, “No, but I’ve seen the trailer”
Bugs Bunny went into the barbershop. He asked to get a hare cut.
What is a dog’s favorite spy movie?
Mission im-paw-sible.
I complained to my local video rental store because they only have one movie to rent.
They said, take IT or leave IT.
A man enters a Blockbuster and asks “I want to rent Batman Forever”
The clerk replies: “I’m sorry but you must return it tomorrow”
Harry Potter could make a great mafia boss.
He always catches the snitch.
Harrison Ford has released a compilation of songs that are based on the Star Wars trilogy.
It's his first Solo album.
Al Pacino has a new movie about a Cuban man who wins the World knitting championship.
It’s called “Scarf Ace”…
Return of the Jedi is not possible without the Receipt of the Jedi.
FUN Fact:
Watching horror films can burn up to 200 calories, the same as a half-hour walk.
I saw a preview for a movie about a huge mobile home. I don’t know if the movie’s any good, but the trailer is impressive.
If you dont like Harry Potter puns there must be something Ron with you!
I like them, but Im Weasley pleased.
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to -watch a movie- is actually watching a movie.
The irony of movie humor: making us laugh at the same tired jokes we've heard a million times before.
FUN Fact:
New York is the most destroyed city in movie history.
I'm making a new documentary on how to fly a plane.
We're currently filming the pilot.
I heard that the Sylvester Stallone Film Festival got off to a rocky start!
FUN Fact:
Will Smith, Nicolas Cage, Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, and Leonardo DiCaprio were all offered the part of Neo in The Matrix before Keanu Reeves.
SpongeBob SquarePants realised he’d reached adolescence when he found his first cubic hair.
Oh,you liked the book better than the movie? You know what I liked about the movie, No reading!
There was always one Thing that annoyed me about the Adams family.
Working on a location specific documentary about whiny marine mammals. I call it ‘Whale’s Wails: Wales’
The older I get the more I understand movie characters who gradually lose their shit and become villains.
Soap operas gave me unrealistic expectations for how often I’d get to slap people.
What is this movie about? It is about 2 hours long.
Used to wonder how Darth Vader ate with that mask on then I realised he's probably force fed.
What do you call ‘Die Hard’ without Alan Rickman?
Sans Gruber.
I watched a sad film on the train. I found it really moving.
My local cinema is showing 2 films about conjoined twins tomorrow. It's a double-header.