Random snack joke:
What's the difference between two policemen fucking in the back of their car and a cinema snack?
One is popcorn.
The other is cop porn.
Selected snack jokes:
My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.
"What is a sea monster's favourite snack? Ships and dip."
A newly couple had only been married a few weeks..
The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to get out on the town and party with his buddies...
So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, ill be right back.”
”Where you going, coochy-coo..? asked the wife.
“Im going to the bar, pretty face, to have a beer.”
The wife says, “You want a beer, my love?” she opens the door to the frig and shows him 25 different brands of beers from 12 different countries. The husband didn't know what to do.
The only thing he could say was, “Yes, but at the bar..you know..they have...frozen mugs.”
didn’t get to finish the sentence. The wife interrupted him, saying, “do you want a frozen glass, puppy fac open the refrigerator and handed him a frozen solid mug.
The husband, looking a bit pale,said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those special hors d’oeuvres they are really delicious... Won’t be too long... I’ll be right back I promise..Ok?
”You want hors d’oeuvres, poochie-poo?” She opened the oven and took out five dishes of different hors d’oeuvres; spicy chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, fried mushrooms, pork strips, cheese dip, the works..
”But sweetie, at the bar..you know.. The guys are cussing and swearing, cutie pie?”
Before he could finish, the wife replies, “You want cussing and swearing, cutie pie?”
”THEN LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FUCKIN BEER IN THIS GODDAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN’T GOING OUT WITH YOUR SHITHEAD FRIENDS ANYMORE! YOU GOT THAT, ASSHOLE????”
What did the plant say when it was hungry?
I could use a light snack.
More snack jokes...
What do computers like to snack on?
.
.
Micro chips.
I always eat too many snacks when I’m nervous and also when I’m not.
Wife: You never listen to what I say.
Me : Thanks dear, on the rocks and some snacks please.
Unspoken Rule: if you go to the kitchen for a snack, bring back enough to share.
My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.
Confucius say, woman who go to man's apartment for snack, get titbit.
What did the plant say when it was hungry?
I could use a light snack.
What’s a boob’s favorite snack?
Chestnuts.
Some people eat light bulbs.
They say its a nice light snack.
What's an Internet troll's favourite snack?
4chan cookies.
"What is a sea monster's favourite snack? Ships and dip."
A newly couple had only been married a few weeks..
The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to get out on the town and party with his buddies...
So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, ill be right back.”
”Where you going, coochy-coo..? asked the wife.
“Im going to the bar, pretty face, to have a beer.”
The wife says, “You want a beer, my love?” she opens the door to the frig and shows him 25 different brands of beers from 12 different countries. The husband didn't know what to do.
The only thing he could say was, “Yes, but at the bar..you know..they have...frozen mugs.”
didn’t get to finish the sentence. The wife interrupted him, saying, “do you want a frozen glass, puppy fac open the refrigerator and handed him a frozen solid mug.
The husband, looking a bit pale,said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those special hors d’oeuvres they are really delicious... Won’t be too long... I’ll be right back I promise..Ok?
”You want hors d’oeuvres, poochie-poo?” She opened the oven and took out five dishes of different hors d’oeuvres; spicy chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, fried mushrooms, pork strips, cheese dip, the works..
”But sweetie, at the bar..you know.. The guys are cussing and swearing, cutie pie?”
Before he could finish, the wife replies, “You want cussing and swearing, cutie pie?”
”THEN LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FUCKIN BEER IN THIS GODDAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN’T GOING OUT WITH YOUR SHITHEAD FRIENDS ANYMORE! YOU GOT THAT, ASSHOLE????”
Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!
What's the difference between two policemen fucking in the back of their car and a cinema snack?
One is popcorn.
The other is cop porn.
Whats snacks do wizards eat when they go to the seaside?
Sand Witches!