Random success quote/joke:
Connolly's Rule for Political Incumbents: Short-term success with voters on any side of a given issue can be guaranteed by creating a long-term special study commission made up of at least three divergent interest groups.
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- Updated:
2025-07-06.
Selected success quotes/jokes:
The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.
I’ve just been informed that my application to be a quicksand rescue officer was successful
It hasn’t quite sunk in yet ..
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.
Bill Gates
More success quotes/jokes...
If you attempt to rob a bank, you will have no trouble with food, rent, or bills for the next 10 years regardless of your success.
4 friends meet 30 years after school. One goes to the toilet, while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
No. 1 says his son studied economics became a banker and is so rich he gave his best friend a Ferrari.
No. 2 said his son became a pilot, started his own airline, became so rich he gave his best friend a jet.
No. 3 said his son became an engineer started his own development company, became so rich he build his best friend a castle.
No. 4 came back from toilet and asks what the buzz is about. They told him they were talking about how successful their sons became and ask him about his son. He said his son is gay and is a stripper at a gay bar. Other 3 said he must be very disappointed with his son for not becoming successful.
Oh no, said the father, he is doing good. Last week was his birthday and he got a Ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends .
After you Finnish a difficult task, Denmark it on your calendar. There's Norway you want to forget the Swede feeling of success.
Fact: There have never been any successful jokes about the Jonestown Massacre. It's because the punch line is always too long.
There are many stories related to the sinking of the "Titanic". Some have just come to light due to the success of the recent movie. For example, most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. The "Titanic" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City. The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today.
It is known, of course, as: Sinko de Mayo!
Will glass coffins be a success?
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Remains to be seen.