Hilarious jokes about THEATRE that will make your day !

Curtain Call Comedy.


Opening a new shadow puppet theatre.
Business plan says we’ll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.

Theatre Jokes meme.
Theatre Jokes meme.

Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated: 2024-12-12.




Selected theatre jokes:


I got thrown out of the theatre last night for eating crisps.

I’m now banned from all future operations.


An Irish family have frozen to death outside a theatre in Dublin.
They had been queuing for five months to see “Closed For The Winter.”


Opening a new shadow puppet theatre.
Business plan says we’ll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.


Opening a new shadow puppet theatre.
Business plan says we’ll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.



More theatre jokes...


I got thrown out of the theatre last night for eating crisps.

I’m now banned from all future operations.


I'm working on a joke about constructing a theatre.
It's in the building stage.


An Irish family have frozen to death outside a theatre in Dublin.
They had been queuing for five months to see “Closed For The Winter.”


Opening a new shadow puppet theatre.
Business plan says we’ll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.


Opening a new shadow puppet theatre.
Business plan says we’ll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.


A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest. After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?
''No,' she replies. She said ..... "You're just the first man who happened to catch my eye."




More theatre jokes on the following pages...


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