Wise Programmer Quotes to Crack You Up.

Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V, and a dash of irony.


I code, therefore I am... confused most of the time.

I'm a programmer, which means I solve problems you didn't know you had in ways you can't understand.

The irony of a perfect code is that no one believes it exists.

Weird Jokes



From bugs to puns: Wise Programmer's ironic take on the coding universe.


My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.

-- P. J. Plauger, Computer Language, March 1983


An evolving system increases its complexity unless work is done to reduce it.

-- Meir Lehman


You want to make your way in the CS field? Simple. Calculate rough time of amnesia (hell, 10 years is plenty, probably 10 months is plenty), go to the dusty archives, dig out something fun, and go for it. It’s worked for many people, and it can work for you.

-- Ron Minnich


Increasingly, people seem to interpret complexity as sophistication, which is baffling - the incomprehensible should cause suspicion, not admiration. Possibly this results from the mistaken belief that using a mysterious device confers [extra] power on the user.

-- Niklaus Wirth


That's what's cool about working with computers. They don't argue, they remember everything, and they don't drink all your beer.

-- Paul Leary



Binary irony: we speaks the language of sarcastic code.


So much complexity in software comes from trying to make one thing do two things.

-- Ryan Singer


The lurking suspicion that something could be simplified is the world's richest source of rewarding challenges.

-- Edsger W. Dijkstra


Tests are the Programmer's stone, transmuting fear into boredom.

-- Kent Beck


Compatibility means deliberately repeating other people’s mistakes.

-- David Wheeler


The first rule of functions is that they should be small. The second rule of functions is that they should be smaller than that.

-- Robert C. Martin



Sarcasm: The only language all programmers speak fluently.


Testing leads to failure, and failure leads to understanding.

-- Burt Rutan


The standard rule is, when you're in a hole, stop digging; that seems not to apply to software nowadays.

-- Ron Minnich


It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.

-- Nathaniel Borenstein


The code you write makes you a programmer. The code you delete makes you a good one. The code you don't have to write makes you a great one.

-- Mario Fusco


We build systems like the Wright brothers built airplanes - build the whole thing, push it off the cliff, let it crash, and start over again.

-- Nato Software Engineering Conference '68





More Wise Programmer Quotes on the following pages...


SEE also - WiseWords Unbound - The Paradoxical Path to Enlightenment:

Brace yourself for a rollercoaster ride of wit, wisdom, and the occasional facepalm-inducing pun. Get ready to laugh, learn, and question the meaning of life, all in one hilarious package!