Music Jokes that Hit All the Right Notes | Melodies of Humor.

Performing Accapella versions of songs by U2.
That really takes the Edge off.

Some plumbers started a band. They call themselves...
In sink.

The music school printed registration forms on marble. They only want students who rock enroll.

Went to the classical music record shop today but it was shut...

The sign said; "Gone Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet"

My favourite composer is handle who then joined Hinge and bracket to form the doors..

Writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced.
There's a lovely key change at the end.

Just bought a Fatboy Slim satnav.
Keeps saying right here right now.

I went to a club that didn’t play 70’s music… At first I was afraid, I was petrified!

"I hear Kylie Minogue wants to sing one of her songs in an alien language"
"Like a Martian?"
"No, I should be so lucky"

My band has a new acoustic album called 'Life Support Machine' - unplugged.

C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors".

- What sort of music is bad for balloons?
- Pop.

I started a revival band called the "Defibrillators".

My careers adviser asked me what job I'd like to do.
"Carpenter" I replied.
"Really, why?"
"Rainy days and Mondays always get me down."

I put a bet on 3 horses today called Sunshine, Moonlight and Good Times. They all lost.... I blame it on the bookie.

My wife is slowly getting over her obsession with The New Kids On The Block.
It's a step by step process.

I love that Beach Boys song about the girl with the mahogany breasts !!
If you don't know it I think it's called "Wooden Tit Be Nice "

I've just seen Technotronic working in Dunkin Donuts. Was inevitable really, they love to pump up the jam.

I bought a lettuce from a greengrocers owned by The Mamas & the Papas but it’s already gone off...

All the leaves are brown.

Fun Fact of The Day
Phil Collins isn’t his real name.
It’s a Sussudionym...

Wife: "Where did you get that trombone?"
Husband: "From him next door."
Wife: "Why? You can't play it."
Husband " I know but neither can he now."

Lightning hit our local orchestra while playing in the bandstand, they were all ok though thanks to the conductor.

Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.

Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

They were yelling "Bach Bach Bach Bach"

I recall getting stuck in ABBA's toilet. What a loo.

As we say in Newcastle, Once you've heard one Kajagoogoo song you've heard Limahl.

The grave robbers exhumed bob marleys coffin but failed to open the lid cus it kept jamming.

I had a vinyl album called “Wasp Noises”, but when I played the first track it didn’t sound like a wasp and the second track didn’t sound like a wasp either...

Then I realised I was playing the B side...

Did you know that 1 Vanilli is exactly 1000 Millivanilli?!

I tried to write a drinking
song but I couldn't get
past the first bar.

Dancers took 5,6,7,8 because musicians took 1,2,3,4.

A friend of mine is a guitar player, but you have to leave the door open for him. He can never find the right key to come in.

I walked past the YMCA yesterday, and there was a teenage boy sat outside stroking some feathers...

I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down...”

When does a farmer dance? When the beet drops.

"I went to a karaoke bar in South East Asia once...”

“Singapore?”

“Yeah, they were all rubbish.”

I've started a band and called it Books so no one can judge us by our covers.

I accidentally ruined my wife's Chic record.
I hope she doesn't freak out.

I’ve got a portrait of Diana Ross that I want to hang above my door but it’s proving difficult as there ain’t no mounting high enough...

The wife and I took up woodworking. My friend said he didn't know we were carpenters. I replied "We've only just begun".

My daughter came back from school with her report card. "Look Dad." she said "My grades spell ABBA." "That's great!" I said "Does your mother know?"

I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!

Then I realised I was playing the bee side.

What is the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, plastic, and dangerous for children to play with, and the other holds your groceries.

My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't give up my obsession with The Human League...
I said 'Don't you want me baby?'

Even though I can't sing or dance I've been asked to join a Take That tribute act as Gary. Yeah, they've really set the bar low.

I heard Mr. Rodgers & MC Hammer wrote several Broadway shows together. They went by Roger's & Hammertime.

Why is Chopin's "Minute Waltz" two minutes and six seconds long?

I'm going to an Abba themed poker night at the local casino. The winner takes it all.

I'm lying in bed, having a cuppa and listening to the Carpenters...

who are taking way too long installing the new kitchen....

I asked a friend what his favourite 80s song was. He said "You can call me Al". I said "OK, what was your favourite 80s song, Al?".

I told everyone I could play the violin, but I was just stringing them along.

People who like trance music are very persistent.

They don't techno for an answer.

Went to an 80s fancy dress party once, my wife didn’t want me to go as a pop star...
But I was adamant.

Just wondering did Tony Christie ever find his way to Amarillo did he get a new pillow and what about sweet Marie is she still waiting?

People who like trance music are very persistent.

They don't techno for an answer...

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You poke her face.

Having heard Mambo No. 5, I'm pretty glad I missed the first four.

My old music teacher never went to the store without her Chopin Liszt.

The national orchestra of Bermuda has a unique problem. The musician that plays the triangle keeps disappearing.

me: do you want Rice Krispies or Corn Flakes?

Tori Amos: what do you think?

My mate asked, "Do you like Erasure?"

I replied, "Oooh sometimes!"