Music Jokes that Hit All the Right Notes | Melodies of Humor.

I bought A LOT of classical music yesterday...

...I went on a Chopin spree!

Got a great book about tribute bands. I read it from cover to cover.

I once was sat next to an insurance salesmen at a Robbie Williams concert .

And through it all, he offered me protection...

I keep hearing xylophones, cymbals and other percussion instruments in my loft. It’s very drum attic.

Just heard the Home Office has lost my police records.

I'm going to really miss Walking on the Moon.

What do you call a condom that plays music? A rubber band!

For the record, you'll need a turntable needle.

I started a band call “Blanket”
It’s a cover band.

If you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste.....
When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.....

Why shouldn't you run with bagpipes?
You could put an aye out!
Or even get yourself kilt.

My friend plays the violin and makes me hold up the music sheets while he plays. I'm sick of doing it, so now I'm making a stand.

Q: Where in this world would you find opera singing aliens?
A: ARIA 51!!!!!!

What kind of music does Mickey Mouse listen to when traveling?

Car tunes.

I bought a small orange soda at the Jennifer Paige concert.

It's just a little Crush.

My neighbour banged on the wall at 4.20am, can you believe that??
Lucky I was still up playing my music....
He banged and shouted "can we have a little respect please"
So I shouted back "I'm not a big Erasure fan, but ok this ones for you”

What's the difference between a banjo and an accordion?

A: You can toss a banjo farther

Preserve your musical instruments using clarified butter and black petroleum liquid:
Free ghee-tar lessons!

Why are balloons scared of Michael Jackson's music?

Because he is the "King of Pop"

Did you hear of the New Year's Eve Cantata that ended with a soprano solo?

They wanted to end the year on a high note.

Neil Diamond makes the same healthy smoothie every morning...

Swede, carrots, lime...

I'm in a fish based band. I play the bass.

I've started a new band called "Blanket'.

We're a cover band.

At any given time, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is never more than a whim away.

You want to see my air guitar? Sure which one? The electric or the acoustic ?

A few goths I know where in a band called The Prevention. Much better than The Cure.

If this economy gets any worse the band will have to layoff one of it's Durans.

I was watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra when all of a sudden the guy on the triangle just disappeared.

BREAKING NEWS!
Elton John's e-reader device has been blown away by Storm Bella...

Like a Kindle in the wind.

A person born in '33 was 45 in '78. Is that a record?

What did Mariah Carey say when her boyfriend bought her an undeveloped property so they could build their dream house?

“I don’t want a lot for Christmas.”

I went for a drink with the Beach Boys last night. It was alright until I asked whose round it was.

Why does Mozart hate chickens?

All they talk about is "Bach, Bach, Bach"

How do you know when there's a drummer at the door? He doesn't know when to come in.

I love that song "🎶What is love"

That singer really Haddaway with words.

The lead singer from the Who is getting divorced. His wife said he committed a Daltrey!

"The piano
is a monster
that screams when you touch its teeth."
⁻ᴬⁿᵈʳᵉˢ ˢᵉᵍᵒᵛᶦᵃ

Just got in a fight with Elton John...

I'm still standing.

I asked this girl at work why she's still dating a scruffy homeless bloke who thinks he's Elvis...
She replied, "I'm courting a tramp, I can't walk out!!..”

Although Jesus was known as a carpenter. He never actually sang on any of their albums.

If you get a link called Justin Bieber Sings Christmas Carols, DO NOT OPEN IT...
It's a link to Justin Bieber Sings Christmas Carols!

Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal... He changed his name when the pressure got to him.

Music was better when people who weren’t good looking were also allowed to make it.

She fell in love with an air guitarist but he only wanted a no strings attached relationship.

There's always that song that reminds me another song.

Had an air guitar party. The mime next door came around to complain.

Which band had a hit single with “Jive Talkin’”?
A) Gees


B) Gees


C) Gees


D) Gees

A Member of our school brass band was a dyslexic girl who played the Toblerone!

Trying to play the new official Rick Astley boardgame.

But the instructions just say ‘You know the rules, and so do I”

I've been a musician for years. Was once in a band called 'The Radiators'. We were the warm up act. The I joined 'The Duvets'. We mainly did covers. After that, I was in a duo called 'Cats Eyes'. Mostly middle of the road stuff. Now I'm in a group called 'Missing Cat'. You may have seen our posters.

What happens if you play a country song backwards...
Your wife comes back
Your truck gets fixed and
Your dog gets better.

Was in Cairo recently.. Disappointed to see that the people walk just like us.

I'm so irritated with my neighbor today, he kept playing Lionel Richie songs at full blast. Normally I wouldn't mind..

.. but it was All Night Long.

My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.

Someone just asked me if I could sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"Not been a singer..I said..I couldn't if I tried"..

Watched a UB40 tribute band called WD40. They were a bit rusty at first but got better as the evening went on.

Steal a man’s wallet and he’ll be poor for a day.

But teach him to play an instrument and he’ll be poor for the rest of his life.

Watched an X rated musical the other day, nothing but gratuitous sax and senseless violins!

I once saw a band called Blankets and Sheets.

They were a cover band!

I saw a fat singer buying a laptop. I think it was A dell.

Took Tina Turner to Wimbledon but I dont think she understood the scoring system.