Hilarious jokes about PIZZA that will make your day !

What did the pizza say when it went to the gallery? "I never sausage a beautiful painting, it's the best I've ever seen".

Having pizza for dinner tonight. I told them to cut it into six pieces, because I don’t think I can eat eight.

What does a pizza guy use to cut his hair?
Little Caesars!

Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices.

What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order?

2 Plains.

Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices.

What’s the difference between a simple person and a pizza?

One is easy to cheat, the other is cheesy to eat.

Got all kinds of weird looks at the gym.
Can’t they bring their own pizza?

What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.

What is a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby.

What type of person doesn’t love pizza?
A weirdough.

What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.

If pizza could talk, what would it say?
Probably lots of cheesy things.

Six short years ago my wife’s doctor was delivering pizza and monkeybread. People still say those are bad names for our twins.

I'm looking for a man with a nice six-pack. He'll get bonus points if he brings pizza too.

Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn't a real sport.

Only two years ago, my wife’s gynecologist delivered pizza.
Still to this day, they both think it’s a bad name.

NEVER trust anyone who doesn’t buy pizza and beer after helping them move.

Bad sex is like bad pizza or bad beer...if you can actually finish it, it's not THAT bad.

I made a pizza with liver. Nobody liked it...
So I had to deliver it.

Having pizza for dinner tonight. I told them to cut it into six pieces, because I don’t think I can eat eight.

What job was the lobster hired for at Pizza Hut?

The crust station.

I hate when I’m trying to eat a salad and it accidentally falls in the trash and then I have to eat pizza instead.

Are you Italian because I want a pizza that ass ?
- Italian pick up line.

Sleep feels the way pizza tastes.

Being an adult means eating one slice of pizza and pretending you don't want six more.

“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”

What is the biggest joke about pineapple? That it goes on pizza.

How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste!

What did the pizza say when it went to the gallery? "I never sausage a beautiful painting, it's the best I've ever seen".

Is eating a pizza considered a square meal?

For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.

You would be surprised but you can make some serious dough at a pizza shop.

The difference between a stupid person and a pizza
One is easy to cheat, the other is cheesy to eat.

I work at a pizza shop, its my only sauce of income.

There’s a type of person who will take only one slice of pizza in case there isn’t enough for everyone, and a type who will take three slices for the same reason.

I love salad!

Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.

I had an idea for a pizza delivery drone, but was told the idea was a pie in the sky.

Waiter, will my pizza be long?"
"No sir, it'll be 'round."

Did you hear about the chef that died?
They pasta way.
Sadly the doctors cannoli do so much.
Their legacy will become a pizza of history,
but they just ran out of Thyme.

When my wife goes into labor, should I just call Domino’s Pizza since they deliver?

—Me da una pizza

—¿Cómo la quiere?

—Demasiado, más que a nadie en el mundo, cada noche pienso en ella hasta quedarme dormido.

Ive just had a " Pelican pizza " at the local dominos restaurant, it was really tasty, but the fuckin Bill was enormous !!!!

How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.

Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?

What does a pizza guy use to cut his hair?
Little Caesars!

My kids were fighting over which one of them gets to eat the last slice of pizza.
I ran over, knocked them both aside and devoured it myself.
Felt it was my duty to keep the piece.

I called a local pizza place the other night and said, “Do you do takeaways?” They said “Yes”, so I said “what’s 23452 minus 345?”

What's the difference between a millennial and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.

A market guru walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza. There the waiter asks him: "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?"
The guru replies: "I'm feeling rather hungry right now. You'd better cut it into eight pieces."

I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD

It cuts like a knife.

Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?
As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?"

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?"
"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get 50 cents out of you, I'll be doing great."
"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."
"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying in school?" asked Mr. Smith.
The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."

I've decided I cannot blame Pizza Hut for my weight gain. If I'm being honest, it was more of a Domino effect.