Confucius Say Jokes - Laugh Out Loud with Our Hilarious One-Liners!

Confucius say, sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel.

Historically, disarmament of citizens has almost always led to mass murder or genocide at the hands of corrupt, criminal governments.

Confucius say, if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.

Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn.

Historically, disarmament of citizens has almost always led to mass murder or genocide at the hands of corrupt, criminal governments.

Confucius say that the path to Inner peace begins with four words.!
"Not my f*cking problem."

Confucius say...He who jumps out of airplane without parachute, is jumping to conclusion.

Confucius say, man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly fingers.

Confucius say, man who finger girl having period get caught red handed.

Confucius say, closed mouth catches no flies, but closed fly catches no mouths.

Confucius say, man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

Confucius say, man who jizz in cash register come into money.

Confucius say, man who fuck in cemetery may end up fucking dead.

Confucius say, man who put cock on stove, have hot rod.

Confucius say, woman who sink in man's arms, soon have arms in man's sink.

Confucius say, man who put face in punchbowl, get punch in nose.

Confucius say, man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor.

Confucius say, man who jump through screen door, strain self.

Confucius say, man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self.

Confucius say, woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock.

Confucius say, man who pull woman's bra strap, may get bust in face.

Confucius say, virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick.

Confucius say, woman wearing G-string, high on crack.

Confucius say, men may have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole, women have more.

Confucius say, girl who marry detective, like to kiss dick.

Confucius say, man who eat pussy, do lip service.

Confucius say, man piss in wind, wind piss back.

Confucius say, man who sleep with old hen, find it better than pullet.

Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke.

Confucius say, wash face in morning, neck at night.

Confucius say, man who sit on upturned tack, rise above all.

Confucius say, man with athletic finger, make broad jump.

Confucius say, support bacteria - is only culture some people have.

Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom.

Confucius say, man who masturbate, only screwing himself.

Confucius say, sex on beach like American beer - fucking near water.

Confucius say, woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring.

Confucius say, man who put cream in tart, not always baker.

Confucius say, man who sit on tack, get point.

Confucius say, man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Confucius say, secretary become permanent fixture, when screwed on desk.

Confucius say, man who sneeze without tissue take matter into own hands.

Confucius say, man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache.

Confucius say, OK for shit to happen - will decompose.

Confucius say, man who smoke pot, choke on handle.

Confucius say, finding old man in dark, not hard.

Confucius say, baby born in car with automatic transmission, grow to become shiftless bastard.

Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn.

Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef.

Confucius say, man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose.

Confucius say, waitress who sit on leper's lap, keep tip.

Confucius say, girl who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge.

Confucius say, girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip.

Confucius say, learn to masturbate - come in handy.