Music Jokes that Hit All the Right Notes | Melodies of Humor.

I’ve named the spider in my room Cotton eye Joe for two reasons
1/ where did he come from
2/ where did he go

I've only got three records: two by Meatloaf and one by Michael Jackson.

So two out of three ain't Bad.

I can’t tell you how much I regret buying the flat above Lionel Richie.

I was in a band once called Earl Grey

We weren't everyone's cup of tea

I've just sold all my Dusty Springfield records and now i just don't know what to do with my shelves.

- What do cars do at the disco?
- Brake dance.

- Why were the rappers late for their flight?
- They forgot Tupac.

Who sang Stayin' Alive?
A. Gees
B. Gees
C Gees
D. Gees

My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about his history of violins.

Accordion to a recent survey, most people don’t notice when a word in a sentence is replaced with a musical instrument.

I haven't been right since my wife hit me on the head with a tambourine.
I think I'm suffering from percussion.

When great musicians and composers die, do they... Decompose??

Why did Beethoven kill all his chickens?
While out feeding them he asked "Who is your favorite composer?"
All the chickens responded "Bach, Bach, Bach."

Q: Who is every insect's favorite bass player?
A: FLEA!!!!!

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.

- What kind of music do chiropractor’s like?
- Hip pop.

What’s a composer’s favorite game to play?
Haydn go seek.

Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide?
He didn’t even leave a note.

Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.

What's the difference between a bull and a blues band?
With a bull, you get the horns in the front and the asshole in the back!

The new lead singer of Dire Straits is Chris Rea.
From now on they will be called Dire Rea.

Guy: I cut the G-string fingering the minor.
Girl: What the hell! You’re disgusting! How could you even tell me that!
Guy: Whoa! Relax mate. I cut the g-string on my guitar, while practicing that minor chord.

I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.

Q. What did the pop star do when he locked himself out?
A. He sang until he found the right key!

A comforter, a sheet and a pillow case started a band.
They only do covers.

Some guy just told me he was going to beat me with the neck of a guitar.
I asked him if that was a fret?

A local rapper once fucked the clock, hoping his time will come.

My daughter jammed 2 quarters into our car CD player .
Now can only listen to 50 Cent.

How did the Beatles’ new skillet introduce himself to them?
“I am the egg pan.”

What musical instrument would a cucumber play?
A pickle-o.

If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet!

Whenever I’m in Dire Straits, I take the ‘Walk of Life’, looking for ‘Money for Nothing’.

I've written a song entitled "Masturbation".
I'm going to release it myself.

My neighbors listen to really good music... whether they like it or not.

What do you call a member of law enforcement who likes to show people his skills on the Guitar?
A share riff.

I watched a pirate copy of Bohemian Rhapsody. I think it was filmed in the cinema.
I saw a little silhouetto of a man.

I want to start a band called The Ceiling.
Everyone who likes us will be Ceiling Fans.

Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of bleeding he sings.

Just joined a reggae band playing the triangle
I just stand there doin my ting.

I tripped and hit my head on a snare drum. Now I think I
have a percussion.

I was in a band called Dusk
We were on before the The Darkness.

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face........

Kids these days never heard of Linkin Park.. I would explain who they were but eh, it doesn’t even matter.

Video's just been given parole. Radio Star's family are said to be livid.

Sign on a music store window: 'Come in and pick out a drum -- then beat it!’

I started singing and was arrested for delinquency to a minor, ... Major,diminished and augmented

I asked a gypsy about my future and she burst into quadruple songs.
Turns out she was a four tune teller.

I wrote a song about a tortilla last night!
Well, it’s actually more of a wrap.

I learned two things last night. I'm not very good at playing the drums and my neighbour has tourette's .

I’ve just bought a new sat nav made by U2,
The streets have no name and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

I can't believe they want to defund the Police. That band was very popular in the 80's.

I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of some 80s bands.
There's no cure!

Caught my dog listening to country. Now he's lickin' for love in all the wrong places.

Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the best book he ever read.

Why did the farmer start a punk band?
He was tired if haulin' oats.

Knock knock: who’s there?
Haley. Haley who?
Haley girl is your daddy home, did he go and leave you all alone? Oh oh oh I’m on fire.

My uncle was crushed to death by a piano.
His funeral was very low key 😂

Covid update: If you play guitar, always use hand Santanagizer before and after.

This guy said to me, "I'm going to attack you with the neck of a guitar."

I said, "Is that a fret?"