Rock Music Jokes - Unleash Your Inner Rockstar with Hilarious Humor.

My aunt used to sell candy at every ELO concert.

She's a sweet talkin' woman.

I know a lady who's a huge fan of The Cars.
She's my best friend's girlfriend.

I'm not a Huey Lewis fan, but I go to their concerts because my wife likes them.

That's the power of love.

My wife is worried that I'll be late to The Eagles concert.
I told her to take it easy cause I'm already gone.

The members of Fleetwood Mac have decided to break up.

They've stopped thinking about tomorrow.

Told my girlfriend I had the original Beatles 45 Ticket To Ride.

But she didn't care.

Whats a cows favourite Beatles song? Hay chewed.

What do you call a mix of a Beatle and a fruit?

John Lemon.

My wife just won Rod Stewart concert tickets.
I'm unable to attend, but her friend Maggie may go with her.

I asked my girlfriend what her favourite Rod Stewart song was.
She said “I don’t want to talk about it.” So I changed the subject.

It turns out that 60's rocker Steppenwolf was an assumed name.
He was born Toby Wild.

I went to an AC/DC concert last night...it shook me all night long.

I’m in a band called ‘The Defibrillators ‘. We are a revival band.

My wife Alice just left me because I quote 1970's song lyrics all the time.
And I don’t know why she’s leaving, or where’s she’s gonna go...

I'll never forget giving Noel Gallagher his first guitar, he said to me, "What's that knob at the front for?"I said, "It's Liam, he's the lead singer."

What’s Sisyphus’ least favorite band?
Rolling Stones.

Went to a Blur concert...
couldn't see much.

Kinda feel bad for guitars.
They've been picked on all their lives.

If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
~ Johnny Carson...

Writing a song for Bon Jovi at the moment. I'm half way there.

Why'd Robert Plant get kicked off the debate team?
He had a tendency to ramble on.

My wife is upset because The Rolling Stones had to cancel their concert. I told her, "You can't always get what you want."

Son: Dad, do you have a favorite band?

Dad: Yes.

Son: Which band?

Dad: Yes.

Son: Did you even hear the question?

Dad: Sure. Do I have a favorite band.

Son: Yes.

Dad: You got it. That's a terrific band.

Son: The who's a terrific band?

Dad: No. Yes.

I have a feeling that my friend is a secret fan of the band Boston. In fact, it's more than a feeling...

Why did Bono fall off the stage? He was too close to The Edge.

I asked Freddie Mercury where I could find the Phrase "Continuous physical force exerted on an object" in the dictionary.
He said, under Pressure!

Music trivia fact: Guess Who sang American Woman.

The average member of Def Leppard has 1.8 arms.

I went to the counter at McDonalds to tell them there was something wrong with my Big Mac.

Cashier: What seems to be the issue?

I hold up the sandwich and the buns move like lips and sing: ‘Listen to the wind bloooow’

Cashier: Sorry, sir. We accidentally made you a Fleetwood Mac.

I was in a band during the 80s called The Prevention.
We were better than the Cure.

There's a song by the Beatles.
I can't remember the name of it, but I remember the tune, like it was yesterday.

A coworker asked if I like listening to INXS?... I said I only listen to music in moderations...

I dreamt last night that I was back the 1990s...
There I was, stranded in a desert and I thought I could see an Oasis...
But when I woke... it was just a Blur

* Knock, knock*

- Who's there?
- Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey
- The Who?!

I once went for a job interview to be the 4th band member of A-Ha but they refused to take on me...

Living on a prayer is my favorite karaoke song, but when I try to hit the high notes...

...I only make it half way there.

To clear up the Moody Blues lyric,
does anyone know what the knights in white sat in?

I lost my pet mouse Elvis the other night. He was caught in a trap.

I just broke 2 of my old Queen records.
Now I want to break three.

Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.

I just bought a Lettuce that used to belong to The Mamas & the Papas...

All the leaves are brown...

When I was a kid I wanted to play guitar really badly...
After years of hard work and practice I can play guitar really badly...

Not sure if the remaining members of Queen still sign autographs.

Brian May.

What is the favorite drink of drummers?

Beet Juice...

I heard Placebo on the radio.

I actually thought it was The Cure.

I've invented a new board game called Bonopoly.

It's like Monopoly but the streets have no name.

I was listening to Nazareth while driving a very nice hire car. Love Hertz.

Guns N’ Roses Pediatrics: We Could Use Some Lil’ Patients.

I could never trust Jon Bon Jovi after he sang "ohhhh we're halfway there" on track 3 of a 10 track album.

Starting a new band called Gravy and Onions. We'll play a variety of songs, but mostly cover Meatloaf.

You heard of that new band 1023MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.

So I said to my mate, “Why are you putting a copy of ‘Rockin’ All Over the World’ in a jar of pickling vinegar?”

He said “I’m trying to preserve the Status Quo”

Mark Knopfler comes home carrying a large picture frame & chips
Wife: What you been up to?
MK: I was at the Auction & got a French Impressionist painting & I got you a chippy
Wife: How much have spent this time?
MK: Nothing, I got the Monet for nothing and the chips for free.

Q: What is a scuba diver’s favorite band from the 1970’s?
A: Air Supply.

Bought a secondhand wardrobe from Bonnie Tyler and every now and then it falls apart 😎

I was arguing with my wife the other day and she turned around and said that Jim Morrison was overrated. That’s when I drew a line and told her that I won’t accept anyone slamming The Doors in our house no matter what the argument is about!!

My uncle smokes and loves David Bowie:
We call him Ciggy Stardust.

Turning back the clocks and adding an hour to 2020 is like getting a bonus track on a
Yoko Ono album.

I’m 110% certain that my friends think I have an unhealthy obsession with Black Sabbath but maybe I’m just paranoid.

Does anyone know what the knights in white sat in???