Rock Music Jokes - Unleash Your Inner Rockstar with Hilarious Humor.

I recently lost a court case against U2. The only lawyer I could afford was pro Bono.

I used to have an unhealthy obsession with the rock band Free, but I’m Alright Now.

I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD

It cuts like a knife.

Just found Billy Joel sneaking along an alley carrying a petrol can and matches. He said: "They'll never believe you!"

Air drums are far better than air guitars, you just can’t beat them!

My wife left me because of my Beatles obsession.
Yesterday.

Just had the worst ever memory lapse:
For 3 seconds I couldn't remember where Bruce Springsteen was born.

FYI, if a cop asks if you have a police record,
"Roxanne" is not the correct answer!

Bands that never quite made it:
Huey Lewis & the Weather Forecast.

The fact that there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

My ex broke up with me for making too many Linkin Park references.
But in the end ... it doesn't even matter.

I’m addicted to buying Beatles vinyl.
..Does anyone know where I can get Help?

Sting was kidnapped today....
Police have no lead..

Told my boss I wouldn't be coming into work as I had been told to take it easy.
He asked, "Who told you that, your doctor?"

"No," I said, "The Eagles".

Anyone been to the Oasis cafe in Manchester?
When you order soup, you get a roll with it.

I'm starting a Facebook Group soon about looking after your guitar. So stay tuned.

I've decided to open a music studio in jail.
It's called criminal records.

I play the Bass Guitar because I want to stay out of treble.

Did anyone ever find out what the one thing is that Meatloaf won't do for love?

I Googled 'Led Zeppelin reunion' and it came back with 'Page not found'...

This morning I was in my car playing air drums to Metallica. I lost one of my sticks out the window so switched to Def Leppard.

My mate with a stutter was telling me about his nan.
By the end of it we were all singing hey jude.

My art teacher says that i am obsessed with The Rolling Stones and told me to stop painting their logo in her class.
So i Paint It Black.

So i wrote a joke about Elton John…
It’s a little bit funny.

Q: Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?
A: Because she wanted to rock and roll.

My dad told me to stop singing Oasis' song.
I said maybeeee...

My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not.

What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.

What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.

What is a Jehovah’s Witness’ favorite band?
The Doors.

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

What band do Anti-vaxxers refuse to listen too?
The Cure.

I’m thinking of starting a band with some guys I met online.
We’re gonna call ourselves LinkedIn Park.

What's the Hong Kong police's favorite band?
The Beatles.

What music band is the least popular around Halloween?
The Smashing Pumpkins.

What is Santa’s favorite band?
Sled Zeppelin.

The band 4 Non Blondes changed their name to 3 Non Blondes...
Because the 4th one dyed.

What's an ancient pyramids builders favourite band?
The rolling stones.

What did the Janitor call his safety warning inspired metal band?
Slip not.

The band A Flock of Seagulls is not concerned with WWIII. They've stated that conflicts typically happen with neighboring countries.
And Iraaaaan...Iran's so far awaaaay....

I was in a band in the 90's called "Homeopathy"
We were a bit like Placebo but not as good.
Once we played at a festival, a bit unsuccessful because most of the crowd left to see the Cure instead.

I'm starting a Christmas themed thrash band.
Thinking of calling it Sleigher.

I had my picture taken with the band R.E.M. once...
That's me in the corner.

- What was the Luddite's favorite band?
- Rage Against the Machine.

- How come U2 band members still haven't found what they're looking for?
- Because the streets have no names!

My friend and I were backstage with band U2 and two other people.
I said “hey look, I’m here with u2, you two, and you too!”

I was at a bar once, and the band played "Jump"
.. and everyone jumped. Then the band played "Twist and Shout" and everyone twisted and shouted.
Then the band played "Come on Eileen". Poor Eileen!

I’ve been diagnosed with a rare form of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80’s bands
There is no cure.

- A group of scientists start a band. What's it called?
- Ion Maiden

- Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
- The Rolling Stones.

Q: Why is being in a rock band like a palm job?
A: The more you rock, the better you feel.