Get ready to embark on a comedic adventure of movie jokes.
The most unrealistic part of action movies? The fact that the hero never needs to use the bathroom during their epic quest to save the world.
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2024-11-22.
1. Movie jokes: where the only thing more predictable than the punchline is the disappointment of expecting something original.
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Eating popcorn - 95% during the trailers, 5% during the movie.
James Bond wasn't even a good secret agent, someone managed to film everything he did.
Big Bang Theory was just "Friends" with advanced degrees and fewer social skills...
Dora the Explorer is raising a baby cow. You should see it. It’s a Dora bull.
James Bond missed
his hair colouring appointment.
Would he
Dye Another Day?
I can always tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs.
Daniel Craig appeared grey in his latest Bond film cause he had no time to dye.
If you deeply deeply stare into the eyes of the man who played Indiana Jones, it's a Ford Focus.
I'm just saying if Barney the Dinosaur WAS King, it would definitely, 100% be a...purple reign.
A snail that meows, a squirrel in an astronaut suit,and a crab with a whale for a daughter:The Directors of Spongebob were obviously high.
What will the 10th movie in the Fast and Furious franchise be called?
"Fast 10... Your Seat Belts!"
I got bored at the cinema watching a film about a young hen, it was a chick flick.
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
Barney’s wife made him watch a bunch of movies from the early 1900’s that he didn’t like. He had to suffer in silents
2. Oh look, another movie where the hero saves the day and gets the girl. How refreshing.
George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey decide to make a movie together.
Clooney says, "I'll direct."
DiCaprio says, "I'll act."
McConaughey says, "I'll write. I'll write. I'll write."
Al Pacino is set to appear in a new film about a man who wins the World Knitting Championship…
‘Scarf Ace'
What is the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum man?
One stops the bad guys and the other just foils their plans.
I bet Matt Damon sometimes wishes he was never Bourne.
What do you call a superhero with no sense of direction?
Wander Woman.
Has anyone else found it weird that when ‘Star Trek’ boldly go where no one has gone before they always find someone there?
Did you know James Bond makes really huge loafs of bread, i don't know how he makes it rise so much, he must use a special agent.
What is this movie about? It is about 2 hours long.
Where does Willy Wonka ask for forgiveness?
Confection.
I screwed up my back investigating alien activity for the FBI.
I have Scully-osis.
Where does Hannibal Lecter go to get his hair cut?
Salons of the Lambs.
What’s iron man without his suit?
Stark Naked.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
A big shout out to all the dudes in the adult film industry. They're always working hard.
What did James Bond's mother say as she was giving birth?
"I've been expecting you, Mr Bond."
3. If box office flops were Olympic sports, Hollywood would have more gold medals than any other industry.
Why doesn't James bond fart in bed??
Cuz it will blow his cover.
Breaking News ;Donald Duck was killed .Someone yelled Donald Duck ,he did not.
What's the opposite of stand up comedy? A sitcom.
They're making a 3rd film about Moses, it's Part C.
What does Iron Man do before he takes a bath? He gets stark naked.
therapist: start from the beginning
george lucas: no
I got a Lord of the Rings themed kitchen. I particularly like the hob bit.
Which superhero pays no tax? Spiderman, all his income is net.
What does James Bond do a bedtime? He goes undercover.
When avenging a wrong, it's best to be Loki about it.....
Just bought the extended version of The Hobbit.
Bilbo is 7' 6" now....
Why did the dolphin go to Hollywood?
Because he wanted to be a star-fish..
I saw a great looking preview for a movie about a long-distance trucker, so I went to see it.
It turned out that the movie wasn’t very good, but the trailer was incredible!
Just got my new Mandolorean bathroom scale. This is the weigh.
I have an irrational fear of Warrior Princesses!
I'm a Xena-phobe.
4. The irony of movie humor: making us laugh at the same tired jokes we've heard a million times before.
Soup operas were the big winners at the Cans Film Festival.
I love watching movies with strong female leads. I'm a heroine addict.
Watching a movie with my girl tonight.. Can anyone recommend a good girl?
Why can't you e-mail a photo to a Jedi?
Because attachments are forbidden.
I went to the local video shop and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever.
They said no, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow.
I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken.
I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.
The cast of “Friends” got stuck at sea in a boat but thankfully nothing happened.
Because Lisa Kudrow.
What do you call James Bond taking a bath? Bubble-07!
My wife told me I'm starting to annoy her because I relate everything to Batman... What a joker!
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
~ Steve Martin...
Why was Batman a terrible driver?
He was blind as a bat.
Have you ever wondered what Wonder Woman wonders about?
Why does the Pirates of The Caribbean DVD have a piracy warning?
How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents.
What are at the end of Bank Movies?
Credits.