Lights, Camera, Laughter! Explore Hilarious Movie Jokes.

Mickey Mouse got arrested for dangerous driving, or possibly a sex crime...

All i know is he was caught burning rubber in a Minnie.

I took a wrong turn today and ended up on Elm Street.
What a nightmare!

If you ever buy a Jedi action figure, always get two so you can return one of them.

There's a stark difference between Batman and Iron Man.

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster: The Great Composers!
"I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone.
"I gotta be Mozart," retorted Willis.
"What about you, Arnie?" they asked....

- : I’ve just auditioned for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
- : Did you get the part?
- : I don’t know, but I’m on the shortlist.

Why doesn’t James Bond fart in bed?

Because it would blow his cover...

How much money did Harry Potter and his friends have?
They had a quid each.

Theres a new movie on netflix about semi trucks.

You should watch the trailer.

There’s a new film coming out called “Carry on Fishing”.
It’s like the old Carry On films but with a different cast.

Me: I'm going as Harry Potter's godfather.
My wife: You can't be Sirius.

Robin: The batmobile needs a new battery.

Batman: What's a tery?

Rowan Atkinson's next film role is to play a comical character who is unable to satisfy his wife.

'Missed her Bean' is showing in cinemas from Friday.

I was speaking to Matt Damon earlier, he said he wished he'd never been Bourne.

Spielberg: "I'm doing an action movie with famous composers".
Stallone: "I'll play Mozart".
Van Damme: "I'll do Beethoven"
Schwarzenegger: ""I'll be Bach"

You can spell it Benadryl Cucumber and people still know who you're talking about.

Tom Cruise is currently filming Mission Impossible 7.
It would seem the previous 6 were, in fact, possible.

Christmas movie tip: watch ‘Die Hard’ after ‘Love Actually’ to see Alan Rickman get punished for what he did to Emma Thompson...

My copy of Timothy Dalton’s, James Bond movie was stolen. If I ever catch the guy, I’ll beat the living daylights out of him.

Villain: why is my calendar wrapped in Aluminium?

Superhero: I have foiled your plans.

I asked my wife why she was upset but she didn't want to talk about it.
I bet she's joined a fight club.

James Bond would be a much better spy if he didn't keep telling everyone who he was...

Harry: I need a new invisibility cloak.

Hermione: Try this one on.

Harry: I don't like it.

Hermione: Why?

Harry: I just don't see myself in it.

What's the most popular song on a Klingon's playlist?
Kahless Whisper.

Mr Spock! come and listen to this,
"I'm all ears Captain,".....
"Yes I know but listen anyway "

Just watched the director's cut of a Rowan Atkinson spy film whilst eating breakfast. It was the full English.

I've just watched the uncut version of Scarface.

It's just called Face.

I’ve secretly converted to Norse Paganism,

Shhh...I’m trying to keep it Loki.

In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.

"Kazakhstan is friends of all except Uzbekistan, they are very nosey peoples with bone in brain."

- Borat

The film never ending story ran 1hr 47mins l asked for my money back.

My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter Chewbacca not so much.

I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet...

Harry Potter brand condoms: Protect your Slytherin from Hogwarts while you're in her chamber of secrets.

Buddy: A cannibal took my wife to see a Russell Crowe movie.
Me: Gladiator?
Buddy: No, I really miss her now.

Why don't the daleks just eat an apple a day ?

Watched 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' for the umpteenth time last night.

Never gets old.

I come from a family of musicians.
Even the sewing machine is a Singer.

I once played as a pantomime horse with Arnold Schwarzenegger. He was very insistent that I was at the front.

What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K resolution?

HDMI

I've just been ripped off!!!
Went to watch the Never Ending Story and it only lasted 1 hour & 30 minutes..🤔

The man who owned Odeon cinemas has died.
His funeral is on Monday @ 2:10, 4:20 & 8:40.

I remember years ago telling my mom I’d won the Leslie Nielsen Award at school. “What’s that?” she asked. "It’s a big building with lots of teachers and pupils, but that’s not important right now”, I said...

Titanic is a wack ass movie. Let that sink in.

I've just won 8 straight games of Paper, Scissors, Rock, against that predictable cunt Edward Scissorhands.

What if John Wick is just Neo in the new Matrix program? Think about it, Even Morpheus is in it and says “John doesn’t remember but we met a long time ago.”

People that love reading fantasy comics, say that it’s simply a Marvel lust thing.

If I had a Delorean, I'd probably drive it time to time.

Favorite movie line for a blacksmith?
May the forge be with you.

My son, Luke, loves that we named our kids after Star Wars characters. Our daughter, C3-PO, not so much.

"What's Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking. JK, rolling."

I once wrote a sitcom about Airplanes, but it never took off.
Everyone thought the pilot was terrible.

Did you hear? Dracula retired and he's writing poetry now. That's right-
He went from bat to verse.

People who cough loudly don't go to the doctor...
They go to the cinemas.

I was buying tickets with a friend at the cinema
Staff: "for the hobbit?"
Me. : "no, she's my friend".

What's the difference between two policemen fucking in the back of their car and a cinema snack?
One is popcorn.
The other is cop porn.

I got thrown out of the cinema for throwing popcorn at the back of people's heads.
I also lost my job behind the popcorn counter.

I was on a date with a girl at the cinema.
We both put our hands into the popcorn at the same time, so to make it less awkward, I said, "Don't worry, that's not the one I masturbate with."

At the cinema it said I could get an extra large bag for £6.
I thought, "That's cheap, but where would I fuck her??"

I went to the cinema to watch “Harry Potter”
...and I was surprised to see a man and his dog there. The dog barked at the exciting bits, growled at the scary bits and whimpered at the sad bits. At the end I approached the owner and said how I had never seen a dog enjoy a film so much and I was amazed. He replied “So am I. He hated the book”