Boost Your Productivity with Business Jokes.

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.

“I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man.

“To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.”

The son-in-law interrupted, “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.”

“I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”

“I hate office work,” said the son-on-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk all day.”

“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just made you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don’t like factories and won’t work in a office. What am I going to do with you?”

“Easy,” said the young man. “Buy me out.”

A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found a taker.

“I think this one will really move said the broker, it’s only $1 a share.”

“Buy me 1000 shares.” said the client.

The next day the stock was at $2.

The client called the broker and said, “You were right, give me 5000 more shares.”

The next day the client looked in the paper and the stock was at $4.

The client ran to the phone and called the broker, “Get me 10,000 more shares said the client.”

“Great!” said the broker.

The next day the client looked in the paper and the stock was at $9.

Seeing what a great profit he had in just a few days, the client ran to the phone and told the broker, “Sell all my shares!”

The broker said, “To whom? You were the only one buying that stock.”

A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money.

By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt.

The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man’s hand.

Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.

The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, “And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention….”

- What did the two business people say to each other whilst closing a deal during an earthquake? - Let’s shake on it!

- How many marketers does it take to screw a light bulb?
- None, they have already automated it.

‘Business is up and down at the moment; I sell yo-yos.’

Why did the electrician close business once a week? Because business was light.

Why did the doughnut maker retire? He was tired of the hole business!

If a neighboring business puts up a sign saying ‘lowest prices’, simply erect your own sign saying ‘main entrance’!