Riddle Me This: Funny Riddles to Keep You Laughing and Thinking.

Who carries out operations in a lake?
A sturgeon.

A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him underwater for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

Answer:
The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

What has lots of eyes, but can’t see?
Answer: A potato 🥔

What can you keep after giving to someone?
Answer: Your word

What smells better than it tastes?

A nose.

What can you see twice in a week or once in every year – but not once in gazillion months?

The letter “e”.

What part of your body, do you inherit from your father's brother?

Your ankle.

What do computers like to snack on?
.
.
Micro chips.

What's hard and hairy and sticks out of your pajamas at night?
Your head.

What doesn't taste as good as it smells?

a nose.

Pun of the day. What’s black and yellow and flies at 30,000 feet?
A bee on an airplane.

Who says, “zzub zzub zzub?”
A bee flying backward.

Which coat is always wet when you put it on?

A coat of paint.

What smells better than it tastes?

A nose.

What has one horn and provides milk? A dairy lorry.

What color can you eat?
Orange.

Who carries out operations in a lake?
A sturgeon.

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a pigeon?
Voice mail.

How many table tennis balls can you fit in an empty pint glass?
One, after that the glass is no longer empty.

What runs but is never out of breath?
Water.

What has 50 heads & 50 tails?
A roll of pennies.

What do most people look forward to but most mattresses fear?

Spring Break.

What has a straight back & sharp teeth?
A saw.

Why did the fried chicken cross the road?
.
.
.
.
.
.
To get to the other sides!!

How does a scarecrow drink? With a straw....

When do you go at red and stop at green?
When you’re eating a watermelon.

A cowboy went into town on a Friday, stayed there 3 days and left on Friday. How’d he do it?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
His horse was named Friday!

What is cut on a table, but is never eaten?
A deck of cards.

What is the smelliest kind of ox?

A buttocks.

What do you call a reindeer that loves cheese?
Mickey Moose.

What gets bigger when more is taken away?
A hole.

What invention lets you look right through a wall?
A window. 😎

What's black and white and has four wheels?
A penguin. I lied about the wheels.

What happens when someone knits backwards?
They stink.

What is full of holes but still holds water?
A sponge.

What's one thing you can always count on?
.
.
.
.
.
.
A calculator. 😁

What do you call a camel with three humps?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pregnant!

What is Black and White,
White and Black,
Black and White,
White and Black,
Black and White,
White and Black,
Black and White,
White and Black?
A zebra crossing the Zebra Crossing .

"What is a bunny without a carrot?" - "Hungry!"

What word starts with "e", ends with "e", and only has one letter in it?

Envelope. 😊

What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down? - A kiwi in an elevator.

If Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had a baby boy, of the three of them, who would be the biggest ?
The baby. He would be a little Bigger.

What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?

Teapot.

How many ants does it take to rent an apartment?

10

What are two things you can't have for breakfast....?..lunch and dinner.

What do you call a mexican who lost his car?
Carlos 😁

What kind of Mexican food never shuts up?
Talk-Os 🌮

What does a man have in his trousers that a lady doesn’t want in her face?
Wrinkles.

Every man has one. Some are big, some are small. It feels great when you blow it, but it drips if you aren’t careful. What is it?
A nose.

It’s fun to do but you hate knowing your parents do it too. What is it?
Facebook.

What four letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k”, and if you can’t get one you can use your hands instead?
A fork.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is really short. Mickey Mouse’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What is it?
A last name.

What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?
Money.

What does a cow have four of that a woman only has two of?
Legs. 😎

What does a cow have four of that a woman only has two of?
Legs. 😎

What’s six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.

I have no life, but I can die, what am I?
A battery.

What’s a plumber’s favorite song?
“Singing in the Drain.”

A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him underwater for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

Answer:
The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
Answer:
An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it?
Answer: Silence.

What begins with an “e” and only contains one letter?
Answer: An envelope

If two’s company, and three’s a crowd, what are four and five?
Answer: Nine

What has hands, but can’t clap?
Answer: A clock

What has legs, but doesn’t walk?
Answer: A table

What has lots of eyes, but can’t see?
Answer: A potato 🥔

If you’re running in a race and you pass the person in second place, what place are you in?
Answer: Second place 😀

What goes up and down but doesn’t move?
Answer: A staircase

What gets bigger when more is taken away?
Answer: A hole 🕳

I have branches, but no fruit, trunk or leaves. What am I?
Answer: A bank 🏦

I shave every day, but my beard stays the same. What am I?
Answer: A barber

What can you keep after giving to someone?
Answer: Your word

A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn’t get a single hair on his head wet. Why?
Answer: He was bald. 👩‍🦲

What goes up but never comes down?
Answer: Your age

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Answer: A promise

What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future